Movie Review: Range 15
This movie is about a bunch of veterans who wake up after a night of drinking in jail and realize, to their own delight, that there is a zombie apocalypse going on. What follows is a melee of killing, homoerotic behavior, zombie fucking (literally), castration by midget zombie, jokes about amputation, hot girls, multiple anal penetration gags, toddler killing, and cameo appearances by William Shatner, Randy Couture, Marcus Lutrell, Clint Romesha, Leroy Petry, and Danny Trejo.
If that did not hook you, get off of this page now. If it did, we understand each other, so read on.
Let me be clear about this: I have no other reason to like this film other than the fact that I am a veteran and I love dark humor. Ranger Up and Article 15 are both competitor companies of Warrior Soul, so by writing this, I’m actually advertising for them. So the fact that I’m writing a positive review about this movie should be an indicator of my honesty.
It is a fucking masterpiece. No, it will not win any Oscars. Anyone who is mildly politically correct will think it’s the worse movie of all time. The CGI and special effects are marginal, and the plot reads like a twelve year old boy’s wet dream, but all of this just makes the movie better.
Because it gives life to an overall concept that this country can’t seem to grasp: those people who’ve put on a uniform, picked up a weapon, and put their lives on the line all of us – they are people. They’re people who be hard as nails one minute, but joke about getting fucked in the ass by a whiskey bottle the next. They are people who can be fucking hilarious.
And because they’re people, they’re also imperfect. They have a dark sense of humor (i.e. a hilarious seen where two toddlers get shot in the head), that most outsiders just wouldn’t understand, but they do not give a flying fuck whether others understand or not.
But if you’re on this site, you probably already understand and I don’t need to convince you.
So to the veterans who follow this blog, let me tell you why you should see this movie:
1. Because these guys knew nothing about making movies, but they did it anyway
I’m always telling you to get uncomfortable and to put yourself out there. This is a perfect example. Aside from YouTube, neither Ranger Up nor Article 15 had any real movie making experience. Nor did they have the financial resources. They used the platforms available to them to put the movie together.
You might not have the following necessary to raise millions of dollars through crowd funding, but you can commit yourself to a goal and go after it, whether that goal is losing weight, improving your career, getting a job, or starting a business. Set the goal and take the necessary steps to get to that goal without giving yourself any excuses. Is that cliche? Yeah it is, but it fucking works. Nothing good will happen from not doing anything.
2. Because it will make you realize that you are lucky.
While I was sitting there in the theater, watching Mat Best get sodomized with a whiskey bottle, an amazing and beautiful thought came to my head – I am lucky. I am lucky that I get these jokes. I am lucky for having my military experience. I am lucky to be a part of this unique fraternity that not everyone understands.
You too are lucky. You’ve done things with your life that most people have never done, and that’s true whether you’ve been in combat or just got through boot camp. Be grateful for it, not just for the experience, but also for the fact that you get to continue living your life with the advantage of insight.
3.Because it will show you that you have nothing to be afraid of.
If Jack Mandaville can surrender his dignity and play a role where he has his dick in a blowup doll for the entire movie, you truly have nothing to fear. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and don’t worry too much about what other people think. Take some risks and bet on yourself.
I want to reiterate this again. Go see Range 15. Yeah, you may not read into it as deeply as I did, but at the very least, it will make you laugh.