Avoiding the Victim Mentality: Showing Up for Success

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

The Warrior Soul podcast is written, produced, and edited by me, Albert. Our mission is to provide tools, tactics, strategies, and ideas to US military veterans and anybody else willing to listen to help them to navigate toward living their absolute best lives. If you find these episodes helpful, please share them out with somebody that you know of that can use them. And if you really like the podcast, please also head over to iTunes and write us a written rating and review. It really helps us to spread word about the show, and it really helps to get these tools in the hands of others who really need them.

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And without delay, let's get into it.

This is Chris Albert, and I'm here to remind you of one thing. Someday, you're going to die. That's not some morbid statement or scary idea. It's solid fact. Your time here on this earth is limited.

We need to be reminded of this as much as possible with one simple reason, to live your best life while you can. This is the Warrior Soul podcast.

Alright, guys. So today is Friday, and what we're gonna do today is we're gonna talk about tools that you can use to get stronger, get better, and become more resilient. And today's subject is about how you're showing up. You know, I talked to a lot of different people who feel like they aren't where they wanna be in life. And a lot of times what happens is they'll talk about their situation, and they'll talk about how this happened to them or that happened to them or, you know, their their boss fired them or the boss doesn't understand them or their girlfriend doesn't understand them. And they place blame for everything that happens in their lives on everyone else except for them. And so what I'm gonna ask you to do today is to take an honest look at yourself, how you're showing up in life, where your excuses are coming from. And the reason why this is important is because if you're going through life blaming your situation, blaming your circumstances, believing that everything happens to you, essentially what you're doing is you're giving up control. What you're doing is you're saying, alright.

I have no vote in this process. Everything's just gonna happen to me. The world is against me. My boss hates me. My girlfriend hates me.

My family doesn't understand me, And I'm just here existing, and I have to bear the brunt of all of this. But what you need to be doing is you need to actually be looking at yourself. Looking at yourself in the mirror, evaluating yourself, understanding how you're actually showing up for the world. And when you ask yourself those questions, am I really showing up? Am I really putting in a 100% effort into everything I'm doing?

Am I actually present every day and doing what I can to make myself stronger, better, smarter? Then you start to understand that at the end of the day, it's not the world that's causing your problems. It's actually you. I went through a decade of my life blaming the world for my problems. Whenever anything bad happened to me, I would say, oh my god, nothing good ever happens to me.

I have the worst luck in the world. And what that did was it essentially robbed me of ten years of my life because I was sitting there constantly blaming other people, constantly blaming my circumstances, but never actually taking control and changing anything that was going wrong. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna talk to you about process that you can use to actually put yourself into a better mindset to try to take charge of your circumstances and to show up as a better and stronger human. And the first thing I wanna tell you is this. Stop putting your mind on the results you have right now.

And I know that sounds really counterintuitive, but your results don't matter right now. The only thing your results are is a signifier of what you've done so far in your life. And here's the biggest thing you've got to understand. Your past is in the past, and yes, you need to take lessons from it. You need to actively think about what you've done wrong in the past, what you've done right in the past.

You need to evaluate yourself, but you have to understand that the results that are gonna come to you in the future, they're going to come from the actions that you're taking right now and the actions you're going to take. So, again, it's not about the results that you have currently. It's about the processes, the things you're doing to actually get better, to get stronger, to get smarter. Right? Those those practices that you bring into your life every day.

Are you actually reading? Are you learning what you need to know to do what you want to do? Are you actually going out there and trying? If you're worried about fitness, are you getting out there and training every day? These are the important things that matter to you becoming the person that you wanna be.

If you get too wrapped up in the past and you think about what you've got going on right now, Right? If you don't have enough money in your bank account, if you have relationship problems. Well, if you dwell on what you have right now and what what you've done in the past, you're never gonna be able to move forward. The next thing you really need to do is you need to decide what you want. You need to decide who you wanna become.

What are you gonna tolerate in your life, and what are you not gonna tolerate? You literally need to write this down. Right? What type of person are you? And I'm not talking about, you know, again, the results you have right now, but who's the person inside of you trying to fight out?

Right? Who's the person inside of you trying to get out there into the world that is trying to to make something of your life? That's what you have to remind yourself of. You need to write that down, and you need to write down what the things you're going to do to allow that person to come out. And you need to write down what the things are that you're not gonna do.

Right? Are you not going to cruise around on social media for seven hours a day? Are you not gonna hang out on YouTube for three hours a day? Are you not gonna watch porn and and waste your time that way? Right?

You need to know what you're gonna tolerate from yourself and what you're not gonna tolerate from yourself. And remember, nobody's perfect. Right? I've done a lot of awful things with my time in my life. And the way you need to approach yourself with this is if you're as if you're a concerned friend.

Right? You need to treat yourself like a friend. What would you tolerate from your friends? What wouldn't you tolerate from your friends? Right?

That's what you need to approach yourself as. Then you need to look at the people you're hanging out with the most. Right? Are they supporting you? Are they pushing you to become a better person?

Are or are they enabling you? Are they dragging you out to the bar every single night? Are they they getting you to do things that you normally wouldn't want to do? Really, really important factor here. If you're not surrounding yourself with people who are gonna push you to be better, then you're gonna get dragged down.

Right? And I know a lot of you, you come from small towns, you're you're in these small towns. Well, guess what? We live in an amazing time and place where you can connect with people from around the world. Right?

A lot of people say social media is a bad thing, but there's some really good aspects of social media. One of the things you should do is unfollow anybody who's absolutely negative. If they're constantly in fights, if they're constantly, you know, causing drama on social media, you need to get rid of those and you need to start following people who are gonna inspire you. That's one thing I do. I follow guys like Ryan Michler from Order of Man.

I follow guys like Jocko Willink. I follow guys like Remi Adeleke. Right? Those are guys that inspire me, inspire me to do better, inspire me to to become better. Right?

So make sure that you're following people who are gonna inspire you, getting rid of people who are gonna cause drama. Alright? The the next thing you need to do is you need to be very clear about what you're gonna do each day. Right? Very clear about the things you're gonna do each day.

What are your nonnegotiables? Are you gonna train each day? Are you gonna learn each day? Are you gonna read each day? These are things that you've got to include in your schedule.

You gotta write them down. You gotta make sure that you're getting them done every day. Those things that are gonna make you better, that are gonna make you stronger, gonna make you more resilient. Right? If you're working on a business, are you spending the time that you need to learn about marketing, to learn about product creation, to learn about the things you need to learn about to make your business successful.

Right? And the reason I'm telling you guys this again is because so many of us aren't honest with ourselves about what we've actually done. We say, oh, I tried so hard. The reality was you were actually sitting there on Instagram for two hours not doing much of anything. Right?

And this is why this next step is so important. You need to evaluate yourself each day and each week. At the end of each day, you need to write down what were the things you did in order that that were the most valuable in moving you forward. And then what were the things that you wasted your time on. And then you need to stick those things that were valuable in the to do list, and you need to take those things that wasted time, and you need to put them in your not tolerate list.

Alright? It's not what you preach. It's what you tolerate. That comes from Leif Babin, the co author of the book Extreme Ownership with Jocko Willink and The Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink. Those guys are absolute experts when it comes to leadership.

And it's really important if you're going to get any place on this earth that you're leading yourself. Alright? You need to lead yourself. Alright? That's what I got for today guys.

I hope that this was helpful. Make sure that you're integrating these practices into your daily routines. Alright? I keep a journal on my desk at all times where I'm writing things down, where I have my to do's, my not to do's, things that I'm not going to tolerate, where I'm actually evaluating myself every single day and it looks like just a simple Moleskine notebook that you know, I got for $78, right, off of amazon.com. Alright?

It doesn't have to be some complicated planning system or anything like that. So try this out. Let me know how it works out for you. What are the things you're doing in your life that are actively making you better? How are you showing up as an individual?

I wanna thank you guys for listening. Listen. We're making a drive to get more reviews for this podcast. We've only got about 38 right now. We want more.

I wanna spread this show as far and as wide as possible throughout the veteran community and also throughout the civilian community because I believe that if we all start working to become our best, if we all start sharing good values, then we're gonna put this country on the right track. We're gonna be in a place where we're gonna be unstoppable. And I think that we, those of us who have served, those of us who have high values, we need to lead the way on that. So if you've got something out of this episode, please head over to iTunes and write us a written rating and review. And like I said on the last show, if you do so and you take a picture of it and you send it over to me at chris@warriorsoulagoge.com, I'm going to send you back a free ebook and it's an ebook called Fitness is Freedom and it's how to integrate more of these practices into your day to day routine.

It'll show you how to do that step by step. The other thing I want to mention guys is that we have our Warrior's Obituary Society. It is kicking off. And what this is is a group of men who are coming together in a society that is going to empower its members to live absolutely epic lives worthy of epic obituaries. And it starts with an eight week development program where we focus on things like fitness, personal finance, personal productivity strategies, your relationships, improving every aspect of your life.

Once you're through that eight week program, it doesn't stop. There's a lot of courses out there. You do them for like eight weeks and then you're you're done. What this is is a membership in a fraternity. Once you're done with that eight week program, you take your place as a full member of the society.

And what we're gonna be doing is we're gonna be having live calls each week where we're pushing each brother to go after his goals. We're going to be doing challenges. We're gonna be doing physical and mental challenges. We're gonna be connecting people with others who share similar goals to them so that they can push each other toward where they want to go. And this isn't gonna be expensive at all.

I'm keeping the prices really low because I want as many people as involved as possible. And if you're interested in this, if this piques your interest at all, send me an email at chris@warriorsoulagoge.com or DM me over on Instagram, and I will send you the operations order for this so you can take a look. No pressure at all. If you wanna be involved, awesome. With that, guys, I wanna thank you so much for listening.

Get out there. Live your live your best lives while you can, and I am out.