Episode 2.1: How to Deal with Darkness and Being Alone

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

What is up, everybody? Welcome to another edition of the Warrior Soul podcast. This is the first episode we've had in a bit, and this is kind of our first episode with a new format. My name is Chris Albert Palmitessa. I am here with Albert Carrasco and Ricky, who's over in the background.

Albert, say what's up, man?

Albert Carrasco 00:00:23 (link to this point)

Hey. What's up, everybody? Happy to be back.

Chris Albert 00:00:27 (link to this point)

Awesome, man.

Our goal here is to deliver tools, tactics, strategies, ideas to help you guys live your best lives, and, you know, we're gonna be going through some things. How have you been, Albert? How's everything how's everything in your life been?

Albert Carrasco 00:00:43 (link to this point)

You know, just riding life's roller coaster, you know, it's like everything is a series of ups and downs as I have observed, and I've just been practicing awareness and seeing like, okay, what's happening right now? What can I do? And just learning to adapt.

Chris Albert 00:01:00 (link to this point)

Well, shit. But, yeah. So it's been a there's been a lot of stuff that's happened, I guess, since the last time we've been on. I just got back from an international trip. I spent three days in England, and then four days in Amsterdam by myself.

Like so I went I went for a work trip. I was with people in England. I was with part of the time, was in The Netherlands. I was I was visiting distributors and and things like that. But the rest of the time, was I was in Amsterdam by myself.

And Amsterdam's kind of if if you guys haven't been there before, it's got kind of this Sodom and Gomorrah kind of thing going on where prostitution's legal there. Most drug most drugs are legal, like, you can actually get in convenience stores. You can get THC, and you can get psilocybin in convenience stores, like, like, just right there. And none of that's ever been a problem for me, you know, like, I've I've got a I've got an awesome woman, I'm freaking you know, I I don't have any desire for the process or anything like that. No judging anybody who does, you know, but but it's just not my thing.

But the challenge for me being there was kinda just being by myself. And, you know, and I had a I have a good friend named Michael Curlin. He has a great podcast, it's called Be Better with Michael Kurland, he runs an awesome company, and he said, you know, one of the great challenges of being a man is being able to have dinner with yourself, and nobody else being there, and you being fine with it. And that's always been a challenge for me, like, if I don't have somebody to talk to, if I don't have my woman around, if I don't have, you know, a friend around or anything like that, I kinda I mean, I go deep into the dark centers of my brain, and I start thinking about shit that I don't really want to think about. But, you know, one of the things that came up for me while I was there was that, well, maybe I should think about why I'm uncomfortable with that, and maybe I should be more comfortable with thinking about those things, and and and kind of facing them rather than than running away from them all the time.

And so, I had a good bit of enlightenment there. Does does that vibe with you at all, Albert?

Albert Carrasco 00:03:20 (link to this point)

Yeah. I do. And and I've definitely had my fair share of experiences in practicing that, but I wanna I want you to finish for sure.

Chris Albert 00:03:30 (link to this point)

Well, yeah, man. I like, it's always like like, when when I get into one of those situations

Albert Carrasco 00:03:38 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Chris Albert 00:03:38 (link to this point)

I start to think about my life, and and when you have nobody to, like, be there to, like, I guess, the word is is validate you, like, validate your existence, like, you know, as a around a bunch of European people who frankly didn't care if I was there or if I wasn't there, you know? And aside from the prostitutes waving to me and trying to get me to to look at their wares and things like that, like, nobody really really acknowledged my existence at all the whole time I was there, and and it was more like, you know, just just dealing with that voice in my head that keeps saying, well, nobody fucking gives a fuck about you, and nobody nobody cares whether you're here or whether you're not. You haven't done and then it goes into, like, you haven't done much in this life at all. You don't deserve anything. You don't deserve why is your girlfriend even with you?

You know? Why has she been with you for ten years? And it'll keep going down that path. And, you know, I it's and she my my girl, she's still in Guatemala. She's been in Guatemala for, like, the last five days.

She's gonna be there for another five days. She went to see a volcano down there, and I want her to have a good time down there. But, like, there's this part of me that that just hates being alone because those voices, they get stronger and stronger the more I'm alone. Even now, I'm like, you know, I'm kind of, like, I've got I've put off work for for for now, so I couldn't so I don't have to go home. And I'm like, I'm at the office, and that that's what happens to me in general.

Like, I don't like being home alone. I can't I have I have issues with it, and it sucks.

Albert Carrasco 00:05:24 (link to this point)

Yeah. I okay. So I'll definitely chime in on some things because I feel like, for me, it's been the last three or so years that I had some, like, very harsh reality checks. Right? And when COVID happened and everything got shut down and I didn't get to work and do all this stuff, I started to realize, like, how many things I was doing for the same reason that you just said.

Like, I was so afraid of being alone that I was keeping all these things in my life that I didn't actually truly want. And so that included, like, going drinking all the time, you know, going down a roster of people to text, be like, hey, what are you up to? Let's go have some beers. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. And then, you know, like, sometimes friends wouldn't have money and I would be like, don't care. I'll pay. Because I just wanted someone to be with me. This also included entertaining very shallow relationships with women where I already knew these women weren't going to keep you know, they were they weren't gonna be fulfilling, but I don't wanna be alone, so I kept them around.

And, yeah, just like if you can go down a whole list of things. So then anyway, obviously, I went into this like introspection and healing journey since then, which we've talked about at different and we'll continue to talk about. And I think it was like the last year or so that I have especially spent the most time alone that I ever have, like, ever. And sometimes it's really amazing because I just feel so empowered knowing that I don't need anything. And then I start to, like, again, I always practice, like, taking a step back and take a step back.

And you wanna know something funny? Even when I'm alone, I'm really not because I have this, you know, little creature with me all the time.

Chris Albert 00:07:14 (link to this point)

Your dogs, for those that are just listening. He's got his awesome dog behind him.

Albert Carrasco 00:07:19 (link to this point)

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's right. Not everyone's gonna see her. But it's like, you know what I mean?

Like, if I wanna tell myself the story that I'm alone, I'm alone, then I'm also not even valuing the fact that I have my dog who to her, I'm hurt literally everything she wants. Like, she doesn't even care that, like, she gets the same food every day or that I'm, like, if I go, let's say, do something for a few hours and then come back, she's just happy to see me. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I have to consciously turn it off and say, that doesn't count because it's my dog. You know what mean?

But then why? Yeah. Like, why invalidate that? Because it's it's real love still. Right.

You know? And so I started to go back to like, I'll have like some of my friends like, I I don't know if if Will's ever on here, like Will's one of my best friends, I've known him for like eight years or something like that. And he's one of the people I do hang out with lately. And obviously, I'm not gonna hang out with Will all day every day. But then, like, on the moments where I feel alone, it's like, I have to ask myself, why hasn't it been enough to know that I am surrounded by some quality people and that the time that I spend with them is quality.

And right now, I'm just I have to do shit on my own. So what what is that? What do I wanna do? And so that has turned into a ton of stuff. So I started drawing.

I've never really gotten into art like that before. I started learning how to play piano. I had never played piano until this year. I told myself, I'm gonna learn how to play piano. And I actually sent Ricky I sent Ricky a little video, a one minute freestyle that I did because I've been like just experimenting with sound and it's funny like on the same thing that you said like, I ended up texting that one minute clip to a handful of my friends.

I didn't post on like social media or anything because I didn't wanna be that public with it. But I sent it to a select few friends just to get some feedback because I can recognize that it wasn't enough for me on my own to say, that was pretty good. Like, I've never played piano before. That's starting to sound cool. There was this, like, deep inherent need that, like, nope.

Someone else needs to hear it. Isn't that crazy? Like like, that's

Chris Albert 00:09:32 (link to this point)

Yeah. No. No. I I totally get what you're saying. And and a lot of the stuff you're saying, like, vibes with me.

I mean, that's a big reason why I do stand up comedy because I've I've been trying to fill the fill a void that quite frankly, work doesn't fill, you know, and and and the other stuff that I do don't doesn't fill. Yeah. And like, you bring up some I mean, the loneliest I've ever been was the years I was at UC Santa Barbara, working on my graduate degree after I got out of the Marine Corps. And freaking, like, I think those were really dark days for me. And part even though my life is so much better now, and I've got a great woman in my life, and, you know, I've got a great career, and and I've got so much going for me, there's part of me that feels like, if I'm alone for too long, I'm gonna go back to where I was mentally.

You know? And and that's like, it's a scary freaking thing. Because those are the thought, I mean, the temptation, like you said, to to do something crazy, like, to to to, you know, there was prostitutes everywhere over there. The temptation to, like, go for that was was immense. The the temptation I haven't drank since 2007, really.

And temptation to just have a beer was was incredible, you know, or to to grab to grab some of the you know, and I I I do take psychedelics, but I take them with respect. But the temptation to just grab some psilocybin and do it for the wrong reasons was was there too. And like, you know, I guess part of what I'm trying to get at is I know there's a lot of guys out there who spend a lot of time by themselves. And and there's a lot of guys out there who hate it. And there's there's different ways of looking at it, and and you can either use it constructively or or you could use it destructively.

And I think far too many of us, like, we ventured down toward the destructive side, but the problem is that if you can't be alone without venturing down toward the destructive side, you're you're gonna fall down a hole. And I think, you know, maybe thinking of some tools that we could use when we we because inevitably, we're all gonna find ourselves alone at some point, you know, for for some period of time. Like, what are some tools that that that have gotten you toward filling that void constructively?

Albert Carrasco 00:12:12 (link to this point)

Yeah. Wow. Okay. This is actually a fun topic. And I feel like I feel like I'm at ground zero in my life, know?

Like, I feel like I've been establishing the foundation of what's gonna happen, which doesn't happen overnight. You know? Like, setting a new foundation at 33 years old, which is where I'm at, it everything has to be intentional. Every detail matters. And so, you know, I've been, to be honest, going through a really hard time because, for example, I finally started going to therapy a couple years ago.

I finally started talking about things that I have never talked about with anyone because I realized this has not been helpful for me to just keep all of this stuff in and to be honest, I was terrified. And I still haven't talked about everything because a part of me has been like, I don't know if this is gonna be good. So for anyone out there who wants to do therapy, who's afraid, like, I feel you just take your time, slow. But anyway, I ended up being diagnosed with complex PTSD. And for anybody listening, the difference between that and normal PTSD is that PTSD tends to be one incident of trauma that people usually get, like, really triggered.

Maybe they can relive that incident. They have nightmares about the one incident, whatever. Complex PTSD is when you have a whole window of time and a bunch of things happen in that window of time. And I was also diagnosed with major depressive disorder. And let me say that, like, you know, depression or feeling depressed is such a diluted term.

I mean, there's, like, memes about it and stuff and, like, everybody's always I feel like it's very downplayed. Like, I even had a friend recently be, like, fuck that shit, bro. We're not depressed. We got this. And I'm, like, I get what you're doing by trying to hype me up, but like, you're also invalidating like how intense this is because like, I also have learned by learning about this and and identifying different periods in my life where, to be honest, I'm I'm going to admit, I have had, like, crippling mental health affect my day to day life where I just can't do certain things that I otherwise healthy would, like, be, like, yeah.

I'm gonna do that right now. What's stopping me? Well, literally, I'm being crippled by this situation going on in my brain that I didn't even know about at the time. So anyway, learning about complex PTSD, learning about what major depressive disorder is, I started to feel like, okay, I can be an observer of my own life because

Chris Albert 00:14:43 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Albert Carrasco 00:14:43 (link to this point)

My true center says, I want a, b, and c to happen. So then every time something comes up that is interfering with my ability to do a, b, and c, I'm like, oh, there it is. Now I'm being challenged. My my like true desires of being challenged by this other thing. And so I started to, you know, I started to like kind of this whole idea of like loving yourself, right?

Okay. So what does that even mean? Like, how do you truly love yourself? Well, it's about being true to your heart's desire, which one of those things includes all the stuff that's happening with Warrior Soul, which we're gonna keep sharing. Right?

It's like, this is the true the true dream, like this is the desire like to open space and have like the yoga, the fighting, and the kids program and all that. So then what's stopping me from doing that? Okay. Well, we we can we can skip some of those details for later, but let me tell you it's been hard and I feel like every day I have gotten better at managing it, but at the end of the day, like I said, I always have to remind myself. I have to do this for me and no one else.

Chris Albert 00:15:51 (link to this point)

Right.

Albert Carrasco 00:15:52 (link to this point)

And and one of the other things about, like, what I learned with, you know, the fragmentation of the brain when it comes to trauma is, like, the stories we tell ourselves, they are so powerful. So I I don't talk negatively about myself anymore. Like, I don't. There'll be times like I might be like, oh, I suck or like, oh, I'm not gonna I'm not good at this or oh, like, literally anything. I'm not gonna speak that into existence anymore.

I just stopped. Right. And like even like I said with learning how to play piano, like as I've been learning music more and more, sometimes I would find that what was preventing me from being able to play music is that as I'm playing, I was judging myself. Yeah. Oh, that's not good.

Oh, the timing's off. Oh, this is off. And it's like I'm just mentally destroying myself, and I'm not even giving myself a chance to play the instrument. Whereas, like, the example I always tell people is like, if you're sitting with your child and your child is trying something that they have never tried before, and they'd make a mistake, be like, dude, you suck. Stop.

You you'd be the worst parent in the whole world.

Chris Albert 00:17:06 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Albert Carrasco 00:17:07 (link to this point)

So that same love that we that we would give to a hypothetical child, we can actually hear heal our own inner child by allowing ourselves to try new things and to hold space for ourselves and to be compassionate towards ourselves in the learning process. And, you know what I mean? Like, anyone listening, why why don't you play a musical instrument? That's the that's the really easy one. I bet most of you will say, I'm not good at music.

Alright. Yeah. You said that, so it's true. You're not good at music.

Chris Albert 00:17:38 (link to this point)

Right. Yeah. That's like

Albert Carrasco 00:17:40 (link to this point)

Alright.

Chris Albert 00:17:42 (link to this point)

Yeah. That's like like like, when I when I started stand up comedy, there was always I always wanted to do stand up. Right? Like, it it was always a thing. I just told myself I couldn't do it.

Like, lived in LA for, like, a long time and never attempted it. But I attempted it here in Florida, you know? And and I I think about, like, well, why why didn't I attempt it back then? And and I always had this thing in my mind that said, hey, you can't do this, it's not you. Like, you just don't have that that kind of talent.

But it's because I never tried it. And, you know, to your point, I think one of the issues for all of us is that we don't treat ourselves as friends, you know? And I think like, I think there's there needs to be two points to our self interaction. You have to be either a friend or a coach. You can't be an enemy.

You know? And and when you're a friend, you you know, you 're not gonna tell your if your friend sucks at something, you're not gonna say, hey, you fucking suck asshole. You know, like like, you're not gonna you're not gonna approach them like that. You're gonna say, well, hey, but like, if you were doing something wrong, Albert, I would say, hey, man, you know, maybe maybe you could do this a little bit better and and here's some ways that you could do that with. Right?

Like, that's how I would approach it, you know? Or if it it if with myself, with the things I'm working on, whether it be comedy, whether it be my fitness, whether it be my career, my business, you know, what I'm trying to get away from is saying, oh, you should have never tried this in the first place. Because that's the stuff I used to say to myself. Oh, you don't deserve this at all. I'm trying to move toward, you know, well, you did it this way, that didn't work out, so so let's try it this way now.

And and Mhmm. You know, and it's the same thing all around. And so, yeah, I'm trying to I'm trying to take more of like either a friend or a coach approach.

Albert Carrasco 00:19:36 (link to this point)

Yeah. Yeah. And really quick, I actually have this right next to me. I'm gonna show you. I started learning how to play this, which is a handpan for whoever is on video.

What is it? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. It's a handpan.

They're like it makes, like, really cool sounds. So I remember I was playing it when I first started, like, I I told myself I would learn it in June. So actually quick tangent about this because I think it's very relevant to, like, exploring new things. I bought it in December 2021, and then it sat in its bag for six months. Because the couple of times that I pulled it out, I was like, I don't want anyone hear me, like, suck at this.

I don't know how to play it. Why did I buy it? Like, the thing was $1,300, and I was like, I just spent a lot of money. Yeah. I was like, I just spent a lot of money on something that I suck at.

Wow. What? I I should sell it. And I was about to to be honest, I was about to put it on Craigslist and be like, I don't know. Maybe I'll get, like, $500 for it.

Like, don't know if the resell value is on this. So let's let's pause there. I bought I wanted to try it. I legitimately wanted to try it. I like the music that I and then I was gonna betray my own desires by selling it.

I told myself that I I wasn't good at it, and I didn't want anyone to hear me, and I didn't even really try. You know what I mean? So I thought that was funny, And then I decided, no. It's about to be June 1. I'm gonna play every day for at least ten minutes and see what happens.

And I just kept playing, and I kept playing, and I kept playing. And like, I mean, actually, maybe this will be a fun demo, but like, in the beginning, I literally was like, okay, you know, and I was like, everything is so confusing, and then now it's like, You know, I can like just make random little beats now and I'm not gonna play anymore than that for now, but it didn't it took some time, you know? It took time to, like, understand the timing and, know, to be patient. And one of the crazy things is, I do use cannabis, and I remember a lot of people say, like, oh, like, cannabis can give me anxiety or whatever. Well, let me I'm gonna break it to you guys. If if cannabis gives you anxiety, a finger quotes there, it's because you have anxiety.

It's not like that it magically all of a sudden gave you anxiety. You're just actually being forced to be present in the moment and now all this other stuff is being revealed to you. So anyway, when I'm playing, I can hear my inner chatter being like, dude, you already played that beat. This sucks. The timing's off.

Like, it's just like again, just like I said, like when I was every time I've tried this, I, know, I became very aware of how destructive my inner chatter was. And then I learned I have to play despite that. And then my housemates one day came in and they're like, dude, that was really cool. And because the whole time I'm trying to play blocking out this inner chatter, I don't actually even remember like what I was playing. And I was like, really?

They're like, yeah. They're like, you're getting really good at that. And I was like, oh, thanks. But I like, thought that was really hilarious because in my head, I'm like destroying myself. Meanwhile, they're like, dude, you're killing it.

And it's

Chris Albert 00:23:05 (link to this point)

No, man. You know, like, I again, I think, like, like, yeah, there's that point where we all need a little bit of external validation to to to move forward and and, you know, for better or worse. Right? Like, I think I think the thing is, like, sometimes you just need to do something for yourself and not really care about the outcome. Like Yeah. And again, that's how I am with comedy.

Like, I I don't I don't particularly care if I I get booked for a bunch of shows or anything like that. I do it because I love it. And I think, like, giving yourself something like that, like your handpan or or or or, you know, learning the piano or anything like that where you're not necessarily attached to becoming a a famous rock star or anything like that, but you're doing it because you enjoy it, because you love it, and because it gives you joy. Like, that's that's awesome, man. Like, I I think we all need something like that in our lives.

Albert Carrasco 00:23:59 (link to this point)

Yeah. And then on the nerdy science side, I was watching something. I forget what neuroscientist it was because, like, there's a handful of people I like on YouTube, and they were talking about how specifically with learning music, your brain fires on, like, a unique way, like, a lot of different parts of the brain communicate that no other activity has the brain communicate the same way. So they were like, yeah, there's, like, fireworks happening in your brain. So when I read that, I started just like, that's cool.

And to be honest, I have noticed that the more that I go deeper into music, like, my whole life keeps changing, and then it gets just really cool. So I encourage it basically, I encourage anyone listening to pick up some musical instrument that has called to you and start to play it and use it as a way to heal the self judgment, the negative self chatter, the ability to take up space to be seen. Right? Because a lot of people with trauma, like, they don't wanna be seen. A lot of people with low self confidence, they don't wanna be seen.

So what is scarier than to have somebody listen to you play an instrument and be like, the fear of somebody saying that you suck? Well, you're not playing for that. You're playing for yourself. So just keep doing it.

Chris Albert 00:25:17 (link to this point)

Yeah. And it could be that or it could be anything creative. I think, like, you know, like, I think so many of us turn off that creative side of our brains when we're kids, you know, because Mhmm. When you're a kid, you get art class, you get you get encouraged to draw, you get encouraged to color, you get encouraged to to do music class and all that. But but somewhere along the line, I think that turns off when when we become teenagers and we go on to college, and we're supposed to make something out of ourselves, you know?

Albert Carrasco 00:25:45 (link to this point)

Yeah. Also, everybody's saying that you can't make money doing that. That's Right. Completely yeah.

Chris Albert 00:25:51 (link to this point)

Right. And that's that's the thing. I mean, like I think in this society where we're so focused on just surviving, I think part of being human is finding things that you love, you know? Like, I love cigars. Right? And the reason I love cigars is because I love the the the craft that goes into them.

I love the fact that they're handmade. I love the fact I love the manufacturing process. Like a cigar, it it it's a every cigar is a miracle. Right? Because the crop could go bad.

Right? Like, the the tobacco has to be aged and fermented, and it has to be done at, like, just the right humidity, and then the the the rolling process has to go just right. You have to have an expert to roll it, and then it's gotta be aged for a few more years, and and by the time it gets to you, there's like this whole series of players who put their love and their craft and and and their knowledge into that that cigar. And then, when you smoke it, you're not supposed to smoke it like a cigarette when it's where it lasts like two minutes and you just get your nicotine hit. I mean, a cigar is supposed to last for hours, and it's it's a great modicum for for either great conversation with another person or deep thought on your own, you know?

And, you know, I put a lot of lot of lot of effort into learning as much as I can about them and and, like, establishing a collection and and that's my thing, you know. Doing that while I'm writing my comedy sets, think, you know, it's it's like my favorite part of the day. But if you could find something like that that that that, you know, you love, you enjoy doing on your own, and and, you know, there's not necessarily any attached outcome to it, I think that's fucking awesome.

Albert Carrasco 00:27:33 (link to this point)

Yeah. Yeah. A 100%. And I and I play music every day for probably, I don't know, at least an hour. And now it's like, I need I need that.

Chris Albert 00:27:49 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Albert Carrasco 00:27:49 (link to this point)

I guess that it's it's it's a big deal to me. Like, I can't believe that I I don't know how I lived without not playing before. Well, actually, I I do know and I was doing things like blacking out on alcohol all the time and doing a lot of really unhealthy things instead. So again, when people say I don't have time for that, it it's you're using your time for other things.

Chris Albert 00:28:11 (link to this point)

Yeah. That that brings back a a good point and, you know, thinking about things that that, you know, making time for yourself. One of the things that I've gotten back into recently is is lifting weights. I I took a a huge hiatus. I mean Yeah.

For years, that was like my entire identity, my entire life. And a few weeks ago, I moved to my new place, which is down the road from kind of a private gym in my jiu-jitsu studio that I I go to. And I decided I I wanted to bring it back into my life, and and, you know, I've I've been every morning at at 6AM, I just I go, I hit the gym for for a couple hours, and and I mean, get back into it and and kinda getting my love for it back, which I think kinda went away. I I never left fitness. I was I've been running.

I've been doing jiu-jitsu. I've been doing calisthenics, but this is really my first time picking up a barbell on a couple years.

Albert Carrasco 00:29:14 (link to this point)

Yeah. So I have it's so funny because we haven't talked about this, but I started to really dial in everything very recently too because I was lifting kind of the last couple of years, but not how I used to. Mhmm. Because I I I think you might remember, but I had a minor pec tear.

Chris Albert 00:29:37 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Albert Carrasco 00:29:38 (link to this point)

And that's actually how I discovered combat training. So I started doing kick kickboxing and boxing, and I always thought I was only doing that while my pec got better, and then I ended up liking it more than I liked lifting weights. So I prioritized my fight training, and then I was kind of just lifting for fun. But just like you said, 6AM lately, I wake up, I go lift, and it's been so amazing, and it's like, right now, I'm like bridging the two of like, how I used to lift and my fight training, and I'm like, dude, let's go. Let's go.

Like, I wanna be a machine. Let's do this. Yeah.

Chris Albert 00:30:19 (link to this point)

That's my thing too, man. I'm I'm turning 44 next month, so I'm like, I like, I mean, I feel like I look good. I I still I've I've always been lean. Like, I've never had a problem having abs or anything like that. But I I just wanna I wanna feel better feel not even necessarily about how I look, but about my performance and about, you know, being able to be strong and about being able to to be physically capable, you know, into my I'm only six years away from being 50 years old, so I'm like, you know, I feel like I I've only gotta turn it up, you know?

I I've and I think, you know, a lot of guys my age, they they kinda just drop it. They let it go. They their wives tell them, hey, you know, you something my girl said to me, she's like, hey, if you don't wanna keep doing this, you don't have to, I'm okay if you let it go. And I was like, no. No.

That there's a trap there, you know? You can't do that, you know? Even if even if your woman tells you she she's okay with you getting out of shape, like, I think far too many men do that. I think you've got to be as you've got to be the best version of yourself. And the best version of yourself is not somebody who is not trying to reach their full physical potential.

And and and whether that be through lifting, I don't I don't believe that just comes through lifting weights. I think there there's a whole lot of elements there, but but I think you do need to be strong. You know?

Albert Carrasco 00:31:54 (link to this point)

Yeah. And it's funny that you say that because I've been a competitive athlete my whole life. You know? I've I've done all kinds of different sports. And when I was at Paragon training, kickboxing, and boxing, I was mostly doing it recreationally. And there's, like, a switch that got flipped recently, probably because one of my friends is one of the coaches.

And I decided to sign up for my first it's a points Muay Thai fight. So there's no knockouts, but, you know, it's a very technical, like, thing. So I decided to challenge myself, and I'm doing that with the intent of doing a semi contact fight later and semi contact being, like, with shin guards and headgear still because I don't I don't wanna do something with no shin guards and no headgear. You know? I just feel like I'm not there right now.

Chris Albert 00:32:50 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Albert Carrasco 00:32:50 (link to this point)

And but, anyway, this points match, I think, I'm really looking forward to. I'm I'm training as if it was, like, a real fight, like, because, you know, I don't know what I'm gonna be put against. I don't know what gym they go to or whatever, and I wanna do well. I wanna challenge myself and know that I get the mechanics of this, that I can be present enough to not choke the day of. Like, I get to test all of my fucking yoga skills and mindfulness practices and literally everything that I've been learning in this points match.

Because if I get kicked and it lands by my opponent, that means I wasn't paying attention. And I have to be honest with myself. Like, they should I know what the movements are. I should be able to block. I should be able to return.

I should be able to counter. So, yeah, man. I'm really excited for that, and I agree. Yeah. Keep I mean, you gotta you gotta challenge yourself.

You gotta keep pushing. What's the next thing?

Chris Albert 00:33:42 (link to this point)

Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. I did I did Fight to Win last year for for for it's a BJJ competition, but the way Fight to Win works is like, it's a it's not like your normal BJJ tournament. It's you you have a match, and and it they set it up like the WWE. Like, there there's a ring, there's lights, you have walkout music, and all that stuff.

And when I did it, there was ton of there's people betting on you and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. And and Yeah. I lost my fight, you know, but it was a great experience. And, you know, when you have all those other elements, there's there's so much more pressure that comes in into play.

But but I I mean, I think we all gotta find things like that. And there's always something you could do, you know, whether whether it be BJJ, whether it be kickboxing, whether it be a five k, whether it be freaking a powerlifting meet. Actually, I think powerlifting is a great sport for for people to get into because there there's competitions everywhere. It's it you have to train a little bit to to to get into it, but once you know the three movements and you can start training, like like, it's it's a sport you could do for a long time because it's actually low impact. I mean, you could get injured very easily if you're if you're going too crazy, but but but that was my first sport that I'd ever competed in.

My first meet was when I was 12, and I fell in love with it so much. And I'd been doing that for most of my life, all the way up to a few years ago when I put it down. And and I think my issue though, why I left bodybuilding and powerlifting was because it just comprised too much of my identity. I couldn't see myself outside of that. Right?

Like, couldn't see myself in other professions because it was my job. I was training people. I owned a gym, you know, and and it was just my identity for so long, and I needed to put it down to become a more complete person and and to be able to fall in love with it again.

Albert Carrasco 00:35:48 (link to this point)

I heard. Yeah. I definitely get that. Yeah. And at least this time around, it's gonna be something new because you have you've been away from it long enough, and you could just reconstruct whatever.

Chris Albert 00:36:02 (link to this point)

Yeah. No.

Albert Carrasco 00:36:03 (link to this point)

Absolutely.

Chris Albert 00:36:04 (link to this point)

Absolutely. I mean, it was to the point for a while where I couldn't even I couldn't even watch a video of someone lifting weights. Like, it it just the whole culture around it was bothering me. And, like, there's a lot of like and I think the way the Internet is these days, like, there's a culture that surrounds everything. And you can get sick of anything very easily.

You know, like and I was sick of, like, the whole Gymshark, like, freaking I hate to, like, call out that brand or anything like that, but, like, the whole, like, you know, I'm I'm I'm gonna go to the gym with my soul mate and freaking, you know, eat a bunch of protein and all that kind of stuff. And and I was just so sick of it, and and, yeah, I needed to take some time off.

Albert Carrasco 00:36:51 (link to this point)

Yeah. I definitely feel that. I think, like, for me, on that topic, like, lately is in the age that we live in, we're always going to be surrounded by a lot of stimulus, and we just have to be able to shut the noise out. You know? Just like at the end of the day, most of that stuff out there doesn't affect my life.

Like and by most of it, I mean, 99%. 99% of anything out there is not affecting my day to day life. And so I I just I try not to pay attention to it. I try to just focus on, like, what do I got to do? And, you know, the more that I do, the less of that matters, like, play music, train, eat for performance, you know, all those things.

And I I I don't even watch the news, and I don't know that that's gonna be a fun one to say out loud, but I'm not kidding you. When we pulled out of Afghanistan, I think that that triggered me so much. I was so angry, and we won't get into that right now, but I was like, fuck this. The news isn't helpful to me. And I removed the news tab on my you know how you would scroll the far left on your iPhone, there's a news?

I just removed it, And then if like I had friends on social media who over post like too many political things, like unfollowed their story. I didn't unfollow them, but you know, like you can hide someone's story just because I'm like, dude, the sensational in this media is not good for my mental health. Like, I have other things to focus on. I don't wanna know about the, like, fear mongering and, like, all this other stuff or, like, how many people get screwed over by this thing that happened, and I'm just, like, I just can't do it. Like, I I don't have the space for it.

Like, it it it if it affects my day, and I have other things to focus on, like, I I don't want it to be part of my day.

Chris Albert 00:38:42 (link to this point)

Yeah. I think it's really important for a lot of people to understand that in order before you can even think about fixing the world, you gotta fix yourself. And and if you're not if if your own life is screwed up, you really don't have any business trying to tell other people how they should live or anything like that, you know? And I I think that's a that there's so many people out there who are just so focused on other people's lives and and what they're doing or this or that. And, you know, I've got my values.

I stand for my values. I, you know, a big big reason why I live where I live and do what I do is because I don't want the government or anybody telling me how I should should be living my life, you know? And and so I purposely don't watch the news as well. I do I keep up on certain things by by, you know, listening to some podcasts that I respect and and, you know, researching issues that I'm interested in. But the the the corporate news media just has one goal in mind, and that's to put fear in your mind so that you could be controlled.

And and, you know, I think that far too many people fall into that.

Albert Carrasco 00:39:58 (link to this point)

Yeah. Just to close that, I have found that I'm a lot more productive and a lot happier without looking at that stuff. Yeah. It's just how it is.

Chris Albert 00:40:08 (link to this point)

Oh. And I mean, think about it. How many minutes people are wasting, like, getting into Twitter fights? You know?

Or like, freaking putting angry comments on people's Instagram videos, or, you know, going to YouTube and and, like, just watching shit that pisses them off, you know? Yeah. How low that's such a low ROI activity. Right? Like Yeah. Your return on Exactly. That is nothing. All it's doing is wasting your time and making you more bitter. Like, I can't think of a lower or ROI activity.

Yeah.

Albert Carrasco 00:40:47 (link to this point)

Yeah. Exactly. And that's why for me, of my efforts have been on just making my life better, just getting better, creating the projects I wanna work on, getting good at the things I wanna get good at like kickboxing, playing music, making art, learning to communicate better because I know that someday I will be in a position of power and so I need to have the proper communication skills and proper, you know, like this this whole skill set. So I'm working on that. That's that's what I'm focused on because right now, I can sit here and like do a bunch of stuff and then from like, I'm not gonna affect the world at all if I don't have the power, you know, like, the resources, the money.

So working on that.

Chris Albert 00:41:30 (link to this point)

Oh, yeah. So let's let's move into that segment now then. What what kind of new things have come up in your world, and what what what kind of new things have you have you been working on, man?

Albert Carrasco 00:41:42 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Chris Albert 00:41:43 (link to this point)

Cool.

Albert Carrasco 00:41:43 (link to this point)

So I moved shops. I have a couple of employees that have been helping me print everything, and I have been, you know, just doing rebranding, like, creating all the marketing material. I'm really excited to start to be more visible with Warrior Soul in terms of, like, the the youth academy project. And so there's two exciting things, maybe three. So the first one is that I had a local drug rehab place reach out to me.

I know one of the therapists that works there, and she was like, Albert, I really like your idea. Can we have a meeting to talk about how that might fit here? Mhmm. And so we decided after our talk that we could create a ten week, like, once a week meeting with the people in that program, and I could introduce to them some new coping mechanisms and some new ways like that that might help them when they're not in that drug rehab center. So this will be like through yoga and breath work and like, you know, I'm I haven't actually finalized the curriculum because it's a little different when I'm working with them than with my original idea, But I think that that's a really cool opportunity because, to be honest, I think that yoga could help a lot of people.

And I will explain that there are eight limbs of yoga and the asana, which are the poses, is just one. So when I say yoga, I'm not talking about poses. I'm talking about, like, all of yoga. And not just that, in America especially, I have found that a lot of people are all about, like, yoga as a workout. And while yoga, sure, can be a workout because it's a physical activity to do the poses, it is actually all about presence and, you know, like, being, like, completely in your own body, and there's just, like, much more spiritual components to it, and that's what I wanna teach.

I don't wanna teach people to stretch. That's that's something I wanna, like, really drive home. Yoga is not learning to stretch. So there's some people listening that will know exactly what I'm talking about, and other people will be like, what is that guy talking about? So it's fine.

The other piece is I worked with a nonprofit a few years ago, and I was just like helping distribute like their food bank, food to families that may need groceries and stuff, and the lady who runs it reached out to me and said, hey, are you still working on this youth program idea that you talked about before? And I was like, yes. And so we're right now trying to figure out how I can work out of their space because they have, like, a gym area. They have weights. They have, like, punching bags and stuff, and they have youth that go there, but they have, like, they don't have anything, like an instructor.

They don't have structure at all. So right now, we're in the process of figuring out how that works. And then the last piece is I have a meeting with my gym that I train at to see what type of, like, cross promo or overlap we can do and maybe work with some kids out of there. So I'm just excited because, like I said, it's like everything that I've been doing the last couple of years is, like, fully coming together right now. And I'm just ready to run with it because I really believe in this.

You know, if yoga and fighting have helped me transform my life and I have, you know, PTSD and depression, it can help people with less severe issues. And the

Chris Albert 00:45:27 (link to this point)

Or more severe issues too.

Albert Carrasco 00:45:29 (link to this point)

Or more severe. Yeah. I if it just it can help people, period.

I know it can.

Chris Albert 00:45:36 (link to this point)

That's cool, man. That's cool.

Albert Carrasco 00:45:37 (link to this point)

So that's my stage for now.

Chris Albert 00:45:39 (link to this point)

That's awesome that to see you see you working on that. I've I've known you known you since you came up with the idea, so that's that's that's pretty awesome, man. I'm I'm I'm proud of you, and I'm I'm proud to, you know, be a part of that here at Warrior Soul too, man. I think it's it's gonna be amazing. I've been focusing on on, you know, a few different things.

One, my real estate portfolio, I've we've we've purchased a couple of properties here in Florida. I finally got all my units rented out. And this is a big thing I I I eventually wanna cover for our audience is like, you know, it's a big deal for me because ten years ago, I was living out of my car. Right? Like, had nothing.

Four years I mean, and I've been I've had money, I've been broke. I've had money, I've been broke. Four years ago, had I was broke again. Like, I had nothing when I moved out here to Florida, freaking. And and, you know, I got a chance, and and I've been out here running this other company, a manufacturing company, which I'm very proud of because it's an American manufacturing company.

But when I moved out here, I bought a property on the VA loan. And and for you veterans out there, that's a tool you guys all have to you, and I'll I'll talk about this in more detail on another episode sometime. But I was able to purchase house, no money down, lived there while renting out spaces in the house. So basically, had made it so that I had no living expense, stacked up money, and then bought a triplex on top of that. And so I bought two properties within the last three years, and I finally got most of the units rented out.

I'm living in one of them with my girlfriend, and and that's a big process. Like, I think I wanna educate everybody on at some point, so that people can move toward finding financial freedom, and that is, you know, something called house hacking. They talk a lot about this. I'm by no means a real estate expert, but they talk a lot about this a lot on on a podcast called the BiggerPockets Podcast. You guys should definitely check that podcast out.

But, essentially, what I did was, you know, bought a house, lived in lived in it, rented out pieces of it so that would the the rents would pay off the mortgage, and then I'm I'm gonna keep repeating that formula until I I have a bunch of houses, and I'm able to to earn enough passive income to to, you know, be sustainable. But I'm I'm really we me and my girl, I'm so proud of her. We've we've put so much work into this, and, you know, we finally got these units online after putting a bunch of effort into rehab, a bunch of effort into the planning, marketing the units, and and that kind of stuff. So so that's been great. I've been trying to educate myself as much as possible.

Like, I think far too many people look for something that's gonna get this payoff, like, right now. You've gotta if you're gonna go into something like real estate or you're gonna invest your money, there's a lot of charlatans out there, and I think you've gotta put as much as you can into your own education. So I've been been reading tons of stuff on the subject. I'm reading this book right now, it's called Risk Game by by Francis J. Greenberger, and it that's his story. He started when he was in his teens.

He started his own publishing company and then eventually worked his way into real estate, but generated cash flow from his business and then bought a bunch of properties in in New York City back in the nineteen seventies when nobody was buying property and then continued to build on that. Today, he's a billionaire. But I think, you know, my message is that if you're out there and you're in financial straits, and you don't know where you're gonna go or how you're gonna move forward, I think that the answer is this, you know, take it one step at a time. Start taking down your debt, start cutting crazy costs that you don't need to be spending money on, like alcohol and stuff like that, and then, you know, move forward step by step so that you can get to the point where you're gonna be able to buy some property, and you're gonna be able to to to put yourself in a position to buy assets. So I wanna get into that in future episodes, and and I think that that'll provide some value for the people at home who are interested in that kind of thing.

Albert Carrasco 00:50:14 (link to this point)

That's amazing. Honestly, I'm really stoked for you. If I ever move out there, I'll know who I'm gonna rent from.

Chris Albert 00:50:20 (link to this point)

Yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, like, and that's the thing, like, you know, I people here's the deal, like, rents are gonna continue to go up. Right? Like, it's it's a fact of fact of life here in The States, you know, and I think, at some point, you gotta think to yourself, am I gonna keep paying somebody else, or am I gonna start paying myself?

You know? And and that's the thing, when you're paying a mortgage, it's basically a long term savings account. So that's something I really wanna educate people on.

Albert Carrasco 00:50:55 (link to this point)

Yeah. And, actually, I I was kidding because one, I'm not gonna move out there. But two, I'm glad that you already worked through this process because I I definitely will pick your brain about it in the future. Hell yeah. Because I want to buy a house with my own VA loan at some point.

So

Chris Albert 00:51:11 (link to this point)

Yeah, dude. Yeah. It's out there for everybody, man. It's out there.

But beyond that, man, I'm I'm I'm stoked to be back here in The States. You know, the trip, like I said, to to The UK and Amsterdam was a little bit heavy for me. It was it was a work trip, but I'm really happy to be back here. I can't wait till my girl comes back from Guatemala. She's out there right now looking at volcanoes.

And that's about all I got for this week.

Albert Carrasco 00:51:41 (link to this point)

Cool. Yeah. I mean, I got nothing. Cool thing else.

Chris Albert 00:51:48 (link to this point)

Well, you know, from there, I guess, guys, I hope you enjoyed this conversation. This is kinda like the format we're gonna move forward with here. We from this point on, we'll be back at you every week with a new episode. And, you know, at some point, I'm sure we'll we'll bring in some guests. But for now, Albert and I are gonna flesh this thing out.

If you guys have comments, if you guys have have subjects you want us to cover, if you guys have your own questions about, you know, what things that you're facing in your own lives, please send us a message. Our new Instagram handle is gonna be Warrior Soul Podcast on Instagram. You could DM us there, and we'll come up with some other channels for you guys to to send us messages on. And I don't know if you got anything to add there, Albert.

Albert Carrasco 00:52:38 (link to this point)

No. The main thing is, yeah, this is just kind of an intro. I think we know we covered a lot. It's in alignment with things we've talked about recently, like, the last six months, the couple times we have linked up. If there are specifics that people wanna know, I mean, obviously, I would love to hear about it so that we can be more specific.

Outside of that, I think that I would love to share, like, some of the things that I've been reading Because like I said, like, for me, I've been like this since I was a little kid, and it took some time to to really take ownership of this. But it's like, through learning, I feel more in control. I feel it's more safety. And so I have done a lot of reading about, like, you know, different trauma coping mechanisms and, you know, what are what do you call certain things. Right?

Like, having a name for stuff is so powerful. And, like, even, like, I'll use the word betrayal. Right? So betraying yourself. Oh, you heard me talk about betraying your heart's desires in earlier in the podcast, but also if you can identify times that, like, you've been betrayed and maybe things that you didn't call it that, like, that's really powerful because then you can start to, like, heal.

Right? So, anyway, I'm definitely down to, like, get into any of that stuff, like but, obviously, I wanna prioritize any specifics that anyone listening might have questions about too.

Chris Albert 00:54:04 (link to this point)

Absolutely. Absolutely. So with that, guys, this is the Warrior Soul podcast. I hope you guys enjoyed the show, and we'll be back at you next week with another awesome episode.