How to Never Be Told “No” Again with Steve Sims

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

This is Chris Albert, and I'm here to remind you of one thing. Someday, you're going to die. Now that's not some morbid statement or scary idea. It's solid fact. Your time here on this earth is limited.

We need to be reminded of this as much as possible for one simple reason, to live your best life while you can. This is the Warrior Soul Podcast.

Chris Albert 00:00:39 (link to this point)

What's going on, everybody? Welcome to the Warrior Soul Podcast. This is Chris Albert, and this podcast is where we deliver tools, tactics, ideas, and interview people who are here to help The US military veteran community to live their best lives. Why do we do this? Well, over the last decade and a half, we've heard about the rate of veteran suicide.

We've heard about veteran homelessness. We've heard about the high rates of chronic disease in the veteran community. We've had a lot of people out there trying to raise awareness, and that's awesome. But we're done with awareness. What we're doing here is we're taking action.

Our aim is to give you actionable advice that you could take advantage of right after this podcast. We don't charge for it. We don't ask for a penny for any of this. All we ask is that you spread the word, that you let people know about the show, that you share an episode that could help somebody out with a person in need. Today, we have an amazing guest for you.

His name is mister Steve Sims. And Steve is a high end concierge. Now, what is that? Well, Steve's a guy who gets things done, and he gets them done for very, very rich people who don't carry a very high profile. Right?

We're talking about the super rich. People who wouldn't think twice about spending hundreds of thousands of dollars just for a good night out. And so Steve's arranged some crazy things. One example is he arranged a dinner at the foot of the statue of David. He had the whole museum shut down.

And while a couple was eating dinner there, he arranged for Andrea Bocelli to come out serenade them. Now, they didn't ask for Andrea Bocelli, but Steve, like he always does, over delivered. And what you're gonna get from Steve today is an understanding of how he gets people on board with getting these things done. Because if you go to the Accademia in Rome, which the museum where the statue of David is located, and you say, hey, I've got this amount of money and I wanna get the museum shut down for the night, they're probably gonna just slam the door in your face because it's not about money for them. It's about status.

So what Steve does is he's a master at getting people on board. Same thing with Andrea Bocelli. If you just go up to him and you say, hey, Andrea, I got a whole bunch of money here for you. I just want you to come out and sing. He'll probably hang up the phone on you.

Again, it's because of status. And Steve is able to make these crazy dream like, experiences come true for people who can afford them. The other thing about Steve is this. He didn't grow up, in a place where he was surrounded with rich people or anything like that. He grew up as a bricklayer's son in the East Side Of London.

Very, blue collar, and he really had to build himself up into what he is today. And we're gonna get in his story. We're gonna get into exactly how he gets these things done, and he's a really interesting colorful character. He's not the kind of guy who rolls around in a suit. He's the kind of guy you're gonna see in a black t shirt, jeans, riding a motorcycle, and drinking whiskey.

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And now I'll stop yapping my gums, and let's get into this interview with Steve Sims. Steve Sims, how you doing, man?

Steve Sims 00:05:30 (link to this point)

I'm doing well. Thank you.

Chris Albert 00:05:32 (link to this point)

You got a nice little toy there behind you. That's a that's a a motorcycle?

Steve Sims 00:05:38 (link to this point)

I've got a few of them. I'm in my garage. I got... I think there's, like, nine here, but I got 12 bikes. I haven't got a car, so I'll be spoiled with my little two wheel friends.

Chris Albert 00:05:49 (link to this point)

That's awesome. Yeah. Living out here in California really helps with the traffic getting from place to place, especially where you are. You're out in LA. Right?

Steve Sims 00:05:57 (link to this point)

Yeah. And I'm just out in the Malibu Mountains as well, so I've got all the Canyon rides. So I'm not exactly spoiled for beautiful rides.

Chris Albert 00:06:04 (link to this point)

Oh, that's a beautiful, beautiful area, absolutely. So let's get into this. You know, our audience might not know about you, they might know about you, but you're known as a high end concierge, not necessarily for the rich and famous, but for the very wealthy and unknown, I think as you put it one time. Right?

Steve Sims 00:06:25 (link to this point)

Yeah. I deal with those people that walk down the high street. You have no no idea who they are. They just happen to own the high street.

That's my client.

Chris Albert 00:06:34 (link to this point)

And you've done, like, some really, really crazy things for them. Like, just to put one example out there, and I think this is one of the more famous examples. You arranged a dinner at the feet of the statue of David, and during the Oh, yeah. You had Andrea Bocelli come out and serenade the couple.

Steve Sims 00:06:53 (link to this point)

Yeah. We closed down an entire museum in Florence. Didn't even tell the client who was coming in. I just literally told him it was a local singer. And then halfway through dinner, had Andrea Bocelli walk in and start serenading them.

So I tend to go... I tend to get a request from a client, listen to it, and then see how far I can take it. And that's what I've become pretty well known for.

Chris Albert 00:07:18 (link to this point)

And it's safe to say that, you know, they're probably not spending, you know, a couple $100 doing that. They're probably spending significant money, right?

Steve Sims 00:07:27 (link to this point)

Yeah. My my my clients are not not not the ones that will look at that bank account when they get an invoice from me and see if they can spread over three credit cards. No. That's... It's not the people I'm dealing with.

Chris Albert 00:07:40 (link to this point)

Absolutely. And, you know, I wanna get a little bit more into that a little bit later on, but I I kinda wanna go back to the beginning because I think what a lot of our audience is gonna appreciate is that you started out with kind of a blue collar, gritty background. Right?

Steve Sims 00:07:57 (link to this point)

I think I aspired to be blue collar and middle class. I think we aspired to be working class when we were that low. Yeah, no, I was a bricklayer from East London with my family that the first time I ever had takeout food was when I think I was 17. So we never went out for dinner. In fact, sorry, tell a lie.

Our idea of going out was going down to the pub. We never went anywhere else other than the local pub. And that's what you just did in those days. That's what you did with that generation.

Chris Albert 00:08:31 (link to this point)

And how did you get from that to arranging, you know, these amazing, awesome, I guess you could say dreams for for the rich and and very unknown?

Steve Sims 00:08:46 (link to this point)

Well, that was easy. I spent most of my life being pissed off. Like most entrepreneurs, we feel as though we don't fit. And as I was growing up on a building site with my dad and my granddad and my uncles and that, I'm looking at my entire family tree and I'm realizing that this isn't my life. I know it's not my life.

And a lot of people will be happy to stay in that rut and then try and find something else. But it's like jumping into the swimming pool with just one leg. You physically can't do it. So what I used to do was I would try many different things and go, Oh, maybe I should be a cake salesman. Maybe I should be a bouncer.

Maybe I should be an insurance salesman. And then go, Nope, fricking hate this, I'm out. And I was bouncing around. I was that lost cause that would have like five jobs within like an eight month period on that resume. Until one day I took my way into a stockbroking job in Hong Kong.

When I was still in London, they transferred me over there. I got drunk with them on the Saturday and the Sunday when the orientation on the Monday and I was fired on the Tuesday. So I think it's safe to say it was the shortest career that I ever had, twenty four hours, which left me in Hong Kong.

Chris Albert 00:10:03 (link to this point)

How did you talk your way into a stockbroken job from from Oh, that's Yeah.

Steve Sims 00:10:08 (link to this point)

So that's a whole thing. So there was... Do you remember the do you remember the bull and bear markets of America? Yep. Right.

The bull market. So in Asia, they had something called the tiger market. That was where Asia was exploding. And Asia had an addiction to British stockbrokers because let's not mince words, the British accent does very well in certain circles. It makes me sound smarter than I am, so game on for that one.

And I actually was in London and a friend of mine was a stockbroker and he went, look, we're interviewing interns at the moment because we've got a whole bunch of the office going over to Hong Kong. So I turned up one day for a job wearing my dad's suit that fell off my shoulders. I looked like crap. And as I'm going down the hallway on the right hand side, there is a banquet and suite, one of the big halls in the bank, where they're talking about, you know, Hong Kong and all this kind of stuff. And they had a breakfast buffet in there that was amazing.

First time I'd ever seen a breakfast buffet. First time ever. And as I'm walking down to where the interns were, there was coffee and I think bagels. And I just thought, more than likely, I'm not gonna get a job as an intern here, but if I walk into that room, at least I'll get fed. So I actually walked back up, walked into that room as I owned it, started eating this buffet and challenging myself to how much I could eat.

And then this girl was going around getting the names for people to make sure the welcome packet come, and I've got my face full of food. I gave her my name. Of course, she's looking through this sheet that she's got. This was the late eighties, you know, 8990. Yeah, '90.

And she's going through the sheet and of course I'm not on it. And I went, look, let me make it easy for you, Steve Sims. And I gave her my name and address and she went, thank you, I've got you. And then walked off and then I put my foot down, my food down I thought I'm gonna get caught any minute now. I put my food down and left, and it was about a week and a half later, I got my welcome package and my ticket to go to Hong Kong.

Chris Albert 00:12:15 (link to this point)

Holy crap. And what was your thought at that point? Were you just... Were you like, how the hell did I do this? Or were you like?

Steve Sims 00:12:21 (link to this point)

Well, my girlfriend, who thankfully is now my wife, she literally said to me, you know, what have you done? And I said, just went in there for food. You know, I really didn't think it was gonna be anything. I was working back on building sites now trying to make some money. And she's like, Well, she said, Are you going to be one of those people to get an opportunity and walk away from it?

Or are you going to grab it? I was like, Damn, you know, can't not grab this opportunity. So I went for it and of course it failed abysmally, but I ended up working on the door of nightclubs in Hong Kong because, you know, let's be blunt, I'm big and ugly. And it worked for me. And then I noticed there were a lot of affluent people in Hong Kong.

So I started being the guy that they came to to get to know where's the parties, where it's happening, where it's not happening, what to avoid, how you can get certain things. I just became this guy that could sort things. And then the requests got bigger, the countries got more diverse. Like, before you know it, I'm flying from Hong Kong to Monaco to throw a bloody party during the Formula One or shooting up the star to hang out at a polo party because the clients invited me. So I literally became the kind of the connector, the the...

I don't know what you'd call it. I was the go to guy to get shit done. And

Chris Albert 00:13:43 (link to this point)

You you went... You you landed in Hong Kong, got fired, went... Got a job as a bouncer. Yep. While you're a bouncer, you start to get connected with all these people. Can can you give some examples of, you know, how you started making those connections? What types of things you should start doing as that?

Steve Sims 00:14:00 (link to this point)

So probably there were a couple of turning points in my career that I can give you exact details on. There were these, let's be honest, if you want to make money, you need people that can afford you. So don't bother marketing to poor people. That's the first thing that I could never understand. So I always used to befriend people that were buying bottle services, people that were buying tables.

If someone's coming in to nurse a beer for the night, I ain't give a crap about that person. So these guys were coming in one night and there was a new nightclub that had opened up down the road. And I knew it was quiet inside. And as they started to walk in, I literally went, not tonight, guys. And they looked at me kinda like I'm mad.

They were being turned away from a club that they regularly went into. And I said, boys, you're regulars. I recognize you. If you walk in there, you're gonna be pissed off because it's quiet tonight because there's this new club that's just opened up down the road. So I'm gonna do you a favor.

Run down there, speak to Timmy on the door, tell him Sims sent you. Have a good night. And they were like, Oh, cheers. You know, I just turned them away from a club and sent them somewhere else. So of course, they became regulars asking me where to go and I'd get little tips.

And then one day they walked into... That was the first time that I suddenly started realizing that there was value in the relationship I had with people. And then they actually turned up at the club one night and they went, Oh, you're going down to the harbor party? I didn't even know what party was going on. I was like, Which one you on about?

You know, as though I knew about thousands of them. So they told me, and I went, Well, why aren't you going? And they went, Oh, we can't get in. We don't know who to ask. So I went on.

So they went into the club. I asked my fellow meathead just to guard the door for a second. I went down to the harbor, saw the girl out there. This is like, I don't know, 08:00 in Most most clubs in Hong Kong are bars that then turn into clubbing later on. So you go early and stay.

I walked down and I saw this girl. And I'm hey. How you doing? I suppose you're gonna be busy tonight. And she's like, yes.

I am. And I said, okay. Great. My boys are coming down at... You know, the party, I believe, starts at 10:00.

So do you want them there at nine or 09:30? What would you what would you prefer to avoid the bottlenecks for you? And she was like, and she starts flicking through the paper, which made me giggle because I hadn't even given her my name. And I said, look, you know, again, I know you're gonna be stressed. So do you want me at nine or ten or when would you like them?

So I never ask a question that someone can answer with a yes or a no. So she turns around and she's like, ten. Great. So I said, do want me to give you the names again just to save your time? So I give her the names And then I put my hand in my pocket and I said, look, quite simply, these guys are gonna come along.

They're gonna go in. They're gonna have a great time. But are they gonna say thank you to you when they should? I had to say it, but to many people. Anyway, thank you in advance.

I gave her $500. And I made $800 a night. So for $500, I was given up most of my wages that night. And so I went back, walked into the club and I said, hey, boys, I've just made a call for you and you can go to that party tonight. And they were like, Oh, that's fantastic.

I said, Yeah, have a good time. By the way, it's 500 each. So, you know, basically I made $1,500 out of it. That was the first time I realized that the higher profile you got, the more perceptionally successful or perceptionally in power, and notice the word I'm saying is perceptionally, the least you will do that could possibly rock that perception. People don't want to either lean on who they are to get in because then the favor's gonna come back tenfold.

They much rather phone me up and go, get it done. I get it done. I charge them $10, and they walk through the front door like they were invited. That's that's what I discovered about the rich and unknown.

Chris Albert 00:17:54 (link to this point)

And just an important point there. I mean, you dealt with the gatekeeper with respect, and you went up to her and you made sure that she was gonna know exactly who you were, and you made sure she... You you got her attention.

Steve Sims 00:18:08 (link to this point)

Yeah. Now I've never... Let's be serious. The biggest pricks in the planet are middle management. Okay?

Is those guys pretending they have more than they actually have. So I believe look after the lows, look after the highs, forget the middles. Okay? They'll look after themselves. But they'll end up going into one of those areas.

And it's... You're right. It's the gatekeeper. You need to pay attention to them. Valet boys.

You know, I will literally turn up at an event. I'll go, hey boys, have a good night. Oh, by the way, I've got some people turning up, make sure that car's out of fun. Yeah. You give them a $100 and the car turns up and they're like, leave it there, sir.

You know, I'll sort out. You're a friend of Steve's? No problem. It makes everyone feel good. Okay?

And and so I I always make sure of paying attention to the details. The message is like after itself.

Chris Albert 00:19:01 (link to this point)

Now from from Hong Kong, so you said from that point, you you were the bouncer, you were the guy everybody came came up to to get stuff done, and your reputation kind of traveled. Yeah. And and that was just through word-of-mouth. How how did you get the word out to others?

Steve Sims 00:19:18 (link to this point)

I didn't. I always believe my greatest marketing, and this actually does make me laugh because you get a lot of people out there and they go, Oh no, no, no, I'm a referral business. All of my clients are friends of friends of friends, bullshit. My company doesn't have an email address. It doesn't have a phone number.

You literally have to know somebody that knows me to get anywhere near me. And that's how it works. And we're talking about this kicking off in the nineties, but we didn't even have bloody emails and websites. I didn't have a website till like 2004. And even the website now doesn't have a phone number or email on it.

Because I have, I'm a great believer that if I tell you how absolutely incredible I am, that's marketing and branding. But if your best friend tells you how incredibly amazing I am, that's gospel. So I literally say to my clients, I only accept clients that are friends of friends because I know you're not an asshole, and I'm guessing you don't hang around with assholes. So if your friend has a need, send him my way. And that's how it grew.

Chris Albert 00:20:26 (link to this point)

Now let me ask you this because you you kinda... You went from this blue collar background and then you're working with with extremely wealthy people, probably very, very demanding people. What type of work did you end up doing on yourself in order to get to that level? Or if any work, did you did you have to change anything? Did you have to change the way you dress, the way you spoke, the way the way you carried yourself?

Steve Sims 00:20:56 (link to this point)

God. Now you're getting nasty. So as an East London boy, I've always worn a black t shirt, drank too much whiskey, rode around on motorcycles. And when I was in Hong Kong and Thailand, I moved out of Bangkok and then Geneva, I did the exact same. So I was always the guy in a black t shirt jeans on a motorcycle. Funny enough, after about seven years, so this is about 'ninety seven, 'ninety eight, actually it was 'ninety seven, I can even, I even know the bloody date in June, I got nervous.

I actually, after seven years of doing what I was doing with some very famous people, some royal families, you know, big people. I was a big deal to about 2% of the planet. The rest of the world had no idea who I was and that was fine. But I suddenly started getting nervous that I didn't look the right way. Now I ignored the fact that it had been successful for seven years prior.

I started taking out all my earrings and started wearing suits and I did this crazy thing. I bought a car. Okay? I actually bought a car and I started turning up, bought a Ferrari and I turned up at my clients now in a suit wearing a Ferrari. And do you know what I actually discovered?

I started attracting the wrong kind of client. I started attracting clients that were impressed with me because I was wearing or driving impressionable things. And it was detracting from who I am. I turned up on a motorcycle and I'm sat next to you in a bar in leather jacket going, all right, so you want to do this at the Vatican? You want to do this with that one, John?

You want to do this with Elon Musk? All right, let's make it happen. You know? But no, I was now concerned about what I looked like. I spent so much effort on it.

I was getting the wrong clients, getting depressed, and I actually went into a bend away. I actually went into a massive slide last ed about a month, and then I sold the car. I had never sold the motorbike, but I sold the car, put the suits in the back of the wardrobe. I ended up throwing the suits away because they represented someone that I wasn't. But I remember getting a picture of myself at a Monaco party.

And, you know, those were back in the days where you got the the photographs sent to you in the mail. And I saw this picture and I realized I wasn't in it. This persona, this person that I was pretending to be was in it. And I was like, I don't like that guy. You know?

I've already said in my life, I don't like to hang around with assholes. Well, there's one. You know? And so it very much upset me. So I actually make a very, very strong point of staying true to me, warts and all.

And I'm a great believer that we take a lot of effort to do what we do. In any business you've got, you put a 100% effort and focus and work into that. I don't want any of that percentage to be taken up trying to be somebody I'm not. So I openly say it takes zero effort to be me.

Chris Albert 00:24:12 (link to this point)

That's important for our audience because a lot of these guys, I mean, they're rolling around in black t shirts. They're they're riding their own motorcycles, and a lot of them love whiskey as well. And I think that there's a lot of guys out there who just think that they can't do anything like what you're doing. And obviously, I don't think anybody else in the world could do exactly what you're doing, but they think they can't rise to that level from where they are. What would you say to them about that?

Steve Sims 00:24:39 (link to this point)

Well, the first thing I would say is that's bollocks. I'm an East London biker, and I'm knocking around at the Vatican and and Elton John in in New York. So if I can do it, you're shit out of excuses. I am high on drive, low on IQ. If I need to do something, I'll find a way how to get it done.

I'm a great believer that my I can is in excess of my IQ. I would say quite openly, strong to who you are. In a world of Insta perfect pictures and lifestyles, We're actually searching for relatable people. And if you please understand, I am trying in every manner to avoid that shit mug word of authenticity. It's like saying, hey, I like you because you breathe.

Of course you freaking breathe. I want authenticity to be something to be expected, not admired. I want it to be just something that, oh, this is who you are. I'm a great believer in transparency. When I knock on your door, when I phone you up, it's because I turn around and go, hey, how are you?

I want something from you, but I've understood you need this. If we can agree that both of us are gonna win in this situation, can we continue the conversation? I make it very clear that I'm gonna be asking you for something, but I'm bringing something to the party every single time. I do that. So keep your black t shirts on.

Stay true to yourself. No one did anything amazing by actually following others. So, you know, lead the crowd.

Chris Albert 00:26:18 (link to this point)

Awesome. You you mentioned earlier in the interview that you never ask a question that can be answered with a yes or no. Why is that and how do you do that?

Steve Sims 00:26:30 (link to this point)

So you walk up to Elton John and say, hey. Hey, Elton John. I'd like you to teach my client to play piano. How much is it gonna cost? Okay?

What's the high probability he's gonna answer with that question?

Chris Albert 00:26:44 (link to this point)

He's gonna say no right off the bat.

Steve Sims 00:26:47 (link to this point)

Straight off the bat. The richer you get, the less you wanna be purchased. Right. Okay? So, you know, you're not buying a hooker.

So the idea is that whenever you get people to do stuff for you, you have to have them to buy into your vision, your passion and your purpose. So you will go up to someone and if you go, Hey, you mentioned about the museum that I took over in Florence. Okay? If I had walked up to the museum and said, can I rent the entire museum this Wednesday from 03:00 in the afternoon till midnight? The shortest word in the world, no matter what language you speak, is no.

And their gut reaction is going to be no. So you can't tell them and you go, I want to talk to you about something I'm trying to put together and actually include you. It's going to be a phenomenal night. I'm just trying to work out what needs to happen in order for us to be able to do X, Y, Z. Now they can't answer no or yes to that. Otherwise they sound illiterate. You know, they have to go, well, we've never done that before. Fantastic. We're making history.

So what are the next steps that I need to go through? And you enter them into conversations that they literally find that they can't answer with a yes and no. Now, I appreciate there's going to be a monetary aspect in this, and I got to tell you that's not really a problem. But I do notice that you're also trying to raise money for your move. So I'm sure actually doing something like this is going to help you.

It's only at times like that that you want the affirmation for them to be able to go, yes, it will. That's fantastic. Now let's get back to it. What steps need to happen in order for us to be able to get the meal done? So just always ask questions that they can't answer with a yes or no until it's a yes or no that you actually want.

Chris Albert 00:28:38 (link to this point)

That's interesting. So when you say, you know, you're coming up to somebody at the the Accademia in in Florence, that was the name of the the museum. Right?

Steve Sims 00:28:48 (link to this point)

Yeah. The Accademia. Yes.

Chris Albert 00:28:49 (link to this point)

Completely murdering that. The Accademia in Florence and you're going up to the person in charge and you say to them, you know, I wanna set this couple up at the foot of the Statue Of David. What specific thing would you say to somebody to to convince them that that's a good idea?

Steve Sims 00:29:14 (link to this point)

Okay. So whenever you enter into a conversation with something that there is either a lot of money or a lot of control or a lot of permission required. You don't walk in cold. There's no turkey shoot. So I found out that the Accademia, and you're actually saying it right, the Accademia was actually going to be throwing a gala later on in the year to raise money for roof renovations.

And, you know, I found out by simply doing this crazy thing called Googling it. And I found out about it. So as soon as I went along, I was able to say to him, and the other thing is, and I learn all my information through quips and quotes. I always say that if I get a no, it's because I've asked the wrong person or the wrong question. So whenever I go into that environment, the first thing I do is to find out, and you can use that, can use this technique. I won't actually make the first call. I won't actually have the first conversation. I will find someone in that arena that knows someone within what it is that I'm going to. If I can find two or three people to make an introduction, then by the time I actually speak to the people, they're turning around going, Yeah, I've heard of you.

Johnny said that you're a bit of a weird cat, but I should listen to you. Oh yeah, Susie phoned me up about you. All right, how can I help? Do you remember I said to you earlier that if I tell you I'm brilliant, it's branding, if someone else tells you it's gospel?

Chris Albert 00:30:47 (link to this point)

Right.

Steve Sims 00:30:48 (link to this point)

So that's what I do. I had someone, some very powerful clients I know in Florence make the first phone call. So now that I'm making the phone call, I come in as a trusted, credible individual. Does that make sense? No matter what it is I do, I search for people in my in my Rolodex that are in that same field, they're in that same gravity of the place or the person I want to get to. And I have them introduce me. And then what you do is you turn around and said, I've got this situation. But before we get into that, I'm aware that you're throwing a gala late one this year for a roof trust. Is that correct?

Yes. So you're trying to raise money for the roof. What are you trying to raise? Okay. I think I can help you with a substantial amount of that.

So can I continue and let you know what I want? Who's going to say no? Now I've used the, Hey, I believe your kids go to this school. How would it be if I actually supplied a computer for every class? How would it if I actually donated to the new roofs that's going on there or the new building or the new annex or the new astroturf.

So you go in showing value. I've done that with Journey. I've done it with Elton John. I've done it with Bocelli. I've done it with the Vatican.

Anytime I go into any relationship, I go in doing my homework and saying, I am aware that you are launching a book, going on tour, releasing a movie. I've got a way I can help you. May I continue and let you know what it is I require? So you're going in with value, but also complete enough transparency that I want something out of it. I'm not funny.

I've gone, Oh, I can help you with this. Because if I do that, you're now suspicious. What's in it for you? I'm gonna tell you what's in it for me. I need you to allow me to be in that museum 03:00 till midnight.

Chris Albert 00:32:34 (link to this point)

So you're always leading with reward and then quickly making it known that you're gonna make the ask right there.

Steve Sims 00:32:44 (link to this point)

Absolutely. Very crystal clear. That's the first five seconds of the conversation. I've therefore shown them that I've done my research. I've therefore shown them that I'm not there to spin wheels.

I've made it crystal clear to them that I want something. They may not know what it is by that time, but they've also crystal clear that I've done my homework, that they are in need, and I have a way of making it work out for them.

Chris Albert 00:33:06 (link to this point)

Wow. Now a lot of people, that's extremely, extremely simple, right? A lot of people, they'll sit back and say, okay, it sounds like it's easy for him, but they're not gonna try to apply this in their own lives. And I see that over and over again. A lot of people, they'll run into a gem of wisdom, and then all of a sudden, they'll they'll sit there and they'll say, that sounds too easy.

Steve Sims 00:33:29 (link to this point)

Do you know what? Here's the dumb shit thing with that, is that you've read the book. Have... Or have you read the book? I don't wanna put you on the spot.

Chris Albert 00:33:37 (link to this point)

Absolutely.

Steve Sims 00:33:38 (link to this point)

You've read it? Okay.

Chris Albert 00:33:39 (link to this point)

Best books I've read this year.

Steve Sims 00:33:41 (link to this point)

Alright. Okay. Was any element of it rocket science?

Chris Albert 00:33:45 (link to this point)

None. None. It was

Steve Sims 00:33:47 (link to this point)

No. Absolutely none. But here's the dumb thing. If I told you I have a way that you can actually take over a museum, but it's gonna cost you $2,000 for this CRM program and a thousand dollars per month revenue share is good. Here's the shit.

You buy it because you think, oh, that's what I got. People ignore the simple, simplistic ways. If I yell at you in the street for half an hour, you're gonna realize I don't like you. And you're gonna realize we've got a problem. Correct?

Chris Albert 00:34:22 (link to this point)

Right.

Steve Sims 00:34:22 (link to this point)

Absolutely. If I, alright. Now this isn't extreme, but if I punch you in the head the first three seconds I meet you, I've just translated the exact same amount of information, you're now fully aware that I don't like you and we have a problem. Now, we're not gonna do that. I'm not gonna meet you in the street and punch in the head, but my point is that everything I do is the shortest route possible with the clearest message possible with the least possibility for you to misunderstand what it is I'm after.

Absolutely. It's it's impactful. It's energy efficient, and it's transparent. And quite simply, here's the last biggie. It's freaking effective.

Chris Albert 00:35:05 (link to this point)

Absolutely. You know, and and I have to say I read your book about six months ago. I'd heard you on a podcast, and I was like, I gotta list... I gotta read this. And after reading it, honestly, it had a huge impact on my ability to get guests through the podcast.

I was able to get some some pretty high end guests, and it all came from those two things. Just leading with reward, tell them exactly what was in it for them, and then making the ask. It's the simple stuff.

Steve Sims 00:35:35 (link to this point)

I've tried telling everyone and I do this with my clients and I do it on my website and I do it through my emails with the Steve Sims stuff. I try to take people the most effective, easiest route for you to be able to get what you want.

Chris Albert 00:35:52 (link to this point)

Definitely. Now let me ask you this. What was the the... What are some of the weirder things you've been asked or some of the most extraordinary things you've been asked to do?

Steve Sims 00:36:03 (link to this point)

You actually went kind of awkward there on the on the tone. Can you hear me again now, by the way?

Chris Albert 00:36:08 (link to this point)

Yeah. I can hear you. You froze up for just a second.

Steve Sims 00:36:11 (link to this point)

Okay. I try not to look at it as weird and crazy because if I did that, I think most of the stuff that I do, would probably call weird and crazy. But every time anyone asks me that question, I always remember one guy in Palm Beach that contacted me. He wanted to pay a lot of money, and the only thing he wanted to do was detonate a nuclear warhead. And I said to him, why?

And he said, I just wanna be responsible for detonating the most powerful thing in the world. Now this was back in early two thousand. Had it been now, I may have reported him to the police, but at the time he just wanted to push the button. And I said to him, I'm not I'm not in business to do any harm or any of that kind of stuff. So I've done some fun and freaky stuff, but I draw the I draw the line and embarrassing anyone, hurting anyone, and really just sticking you on a pedestal.

I don't do any of that.

Chris Albert 00:37:13 (link to this point)

Yeah. I I imagine having somebody ask you to blow up a nuclear weapon would be interesting, but but you have gotten people to train with the Navy SEALs. Right?

Steve Sims 00:37:24 (link to this point)

Yeah. I train with them, shoot with them, jump out of helicopters with them, using the Navy SEALs as an example. We've done a lot of stuff with those guys and with the military up in the Pentagon. We were in the White House a couple of weeks ago. So, yeah, we've had some fun and frolics.

Chris Albert 00:37:42 (link to this point)

Absolutely. And and I've heard a story that you almost got a selfie with the Pope.

Steve Sims 00:37:47 (link to this point)

Yes. I had been doing some work in the Vatican and for about three days running, three visits running over a period of maybe about a month, I'd been hoping to meet him and I, every time I'd been invited in there, I'd wear a suit. And then there's one day I turned up because I was just checking something backstage in the Vatican and I turned up in a black T shirt and jeans, and that was the one time he turns up. And because we were in a very secure private area, I pulled out my phone to get a selfie and basically got accosted by all of the Swiss guards being told that we weren't allowed to take a selfie in that room. So I didn't get it.

So I'll have to go back and see if see if he's open for a second try.

Chris Albert 00:38:33 (link to this point)

Now back to your book, you know, like I said, it's it's one of the best books I've read this extremely simple. Right? It is very, very simple. Very, very in your face stuff. But it also, I mean, it makes a lot of sense and and, you know, makes a lot of common sense.

Steve Sims 00:38:52 (link to this point)

Good.

Chris Albert 00:38:52 (link to this point)

When did you decide to write a book and and why'd you decide to do a book?

Steve Sims 00:39:01 (link to this point)

So I'd always been asked to do a book on the rich and famous and the rich and unknown in what I did. And I'd always refuse it because if I named any of my clients, could be dead by cocktail hour. I had started doing a lot of speeches and I do a lot of speaking events and I'd started doing a lot of speaking events to entrepreneurial groups and mastermind and sales training, these kind of things. And I've been approached this time by Simon & Schuster who said, We don't want you to do a book naming names. We'd like you to do a book not on what you do, but how you do it.

And I've got kids and I very much hate the way everyone tries to over complicate things. Everyone lives in an instant perfect life. The art of true relationships is dying, but that's sad because all of my power, all of my strength, all of my money comes from my ability to be able to make a text, phone call, or send a video to someone to get what I need. So I think relationships have the greatest ROI out there. This was a chance for me to put a book together and actually shout as to what I wanted and get people to change to make a world more of what I wanted to live in.

So I used it as my pedestal to be able to get on stage and go, look, you think you're communicating through Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and you are, but badly. And this is why. And I'm using it now as a platform to be able to do that, to teach people the art of real communication and the value in it. Because it's still... I can ask you to build a bridge.

Okay? I I... How how many years did you study as an engineer?

Chris Albert 00:40:51 (link to this point)

I wasn't an engineer. I was in I was in the Marine Corps, but I was in for six years.

Steve Sims 00:40:56 (link to this point)

Yeah. Okay. But you've never done any engineering?

Chris Albert 00:40:59 (link to this point)

Nope. Nope. Never done any of that.

Steve Sims 00:41:01 (link to this point)

Right. I guarantee you within half an hour, you could probably download an app or a program that will be able to give you the blueprints to build a bridge. Correct? Absolutely. Right.

Yep. Try and find an app or a blueprint that can teach you how to communicate. It doesn't exist. It'll teach us how to speak in French, but it won't teach us what to say. And I believe it's still the final bastion of communication, the final bastion of us that we we...

We're losing the ability to actually truly communicate with people.

Chris Albert 00:41:32 (link to this point)

Wow. Yeah. And, you know, I don't know. I'm noticing that more and more with with social media in general. Not only is it...

Is communication going down, it's also becoming a little bit more nasty. You know, people will say things to people over social media that they would never say to them in person.

Steve Sims 00:41:51 (link to this point)

Well, no. Because, again, if I'm in a bar with you, and I'm not gonna talk about punching you in the head again, but if I'm in a bar with you and you say a joke that offends me, okay, you're gonna see a change without saying anything, You will pick up on a vibe that that rubbed me the wrong way. You will pick up on my body language that I'm closing down to wanna talk to you. You'll pick up on all those things, and you'll be like, Sims, you know, bloody hell's wrong with you? And I'll be like, well, you know, your joke was about three legged people.

My mom had three legs and that kind you'll be like, oh, sorry, man. Yeah. It does that. We we react off of each other. Mhmm.

The problem is we're we're losing that reactivity. So you go onto Twitter, you post something on Twitter, the person doesn't respond within the first hour, you're pissed off, it gets buried under loads of stuff, you then meet the person. I had this last week, I was speaking at Cole and Sonia Hatter's Thrive event in Vegas. This pilchard came up to me and stood in front of me and he went, I sent you a DM accusing me. And I said to him, fucking how am I supposed to do with a DM?

You know, why don't you phone me? I don't have your phone number. Well, there you go. Problem solved. You know?

So it's these people that think that they're actually communicating by sending someone an instant message or a tweet or something like that, but they're not. They're not communicating just because you can send a message to anyone in the planet now. Let's be blunt, the more successful you are and the more profile you do. And there's times when I'll go away and I'll have a couple of people just looking over my social media just to make sure that if there's any question that gets answered, they're not getting me. You know?

So if someone's like, Oh, Steve, I need to talk to you about so and so, it may not get through to me. You know, if you want to get through to me, send me an email or phone me up. And I know you're going to say, Well, how do we get your phone number and your email? Well, that's not my problem.

Chris Albert 00:43:57 (link to this point)

Well, brings up another point too. It's almost really important to to keep your circle small, but the the circle you have to fill it with really good, decent people who are gonna lift you up.

Steve Sims 00:44:10 (link to this point)

Oh, cheapest. Did you... I don't know if you... And I'm not I'm not pitching this now. I know we spoke earlier about it.

But do you get my emails?

Chris Albert 00:44:21 (link to this point)

No. I don't get your emails right now.

Steve Sims 00:44:23 (link to this point)

Right. Okay. So here's something for you and your audience, and you did line it up. We need to confirm that we never spoke about lining this up though. So I have the website stevedsims.com or as I was speaking to you earlier, for anyone in The US, you can text the word ugly works or one word, ugly works to 345345.

Now, this is why this is so important to mention that now. When you do that, you will actually get my newsletter and a video. And the video's called the chug test. Now do you remember I said to you that in... When I was...

I got the photographs back that I wasn't the person I thought I was, and I went into a bender. Do you remember that?

Chris Albert 00:45:12 (link to this point)

Yep.

Steve Sims 00:45:13 (link to this point)

Earlier on in this podcast. It was actually a really bad time in my life. It was when I probably was at my lowest, and I drunk myself stupid for a few days in a row. Closed the door, locked the office, didn't come out, peed in a gas can, in trash can. Didn't want to leave.

Was in a real downward spiral. Now, I came out, you would have thought I'd have been put off with whiskey for the rest of my life, but I decided that if I couldn't drink whiskey with someone, I didn't want to be in my circle. Because someone's got to be okay with me for me to be okay with them. So we came up with this little crazy thing called a chug test where, and I'll go through the test with you now, for all of those that don't want to text or subscribe, that's fine. I'll give you the ins and outs of it.

So if you're walking up the high street and you're on the left hand side of the road, and on the right hand side of the road, someone walking the other side is someone in your business, a partner, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, someone in your family, an accountant, a print press, whatever. Someone in your world. Do you quickly look in the left and pretend you're actually interested in those porcelain ducks? Or do you run across the road, jump in front of them and go, Jimmy, let's go grab a beer, a whiskey, a coffee. Come on, Mick.

Which one of those do you do? If you turn around and you're looking in that store, checking the reflection until they walk past, turn it back around and then walking off, get that person out of your life. Okay? Because you don't want them to be there. You've just acknowledged you don't want them to be there.

They shouldn't be there. If you get rid of the bad people in your life, you're going to make space and way for the good people in your life. And that's where you become more relaxed. I probably one of the wealthiest men you will ever meet. And I'm wealthy because I'm comfortable, I'm confident in the people I have around me, I love and laugh on a regular basis, and I can phone up a million people and say, let's have a whiskey tomorrow night and it'll happen and we can just tell bad jokes to each other for the entire night.

For me, that's wealth. It's got bugger all to do with money. It's got everything to do with your state of mind.

Chris Albert 00:47:31 (link to this point)

That's really important because, you know, a lot of guys I see, they associate wealth with just money and material things and more toys and and, you know, whatever whatever other thing you could bet that you'd spend your money on that's gonna rot or rust or depreciate. But a lot of times, you forget when you're starting something and you're starting on your road that it's relationships that matter. The people you're around matter. And if you find yourself with all the money in the world surrounded by people that make you miserable, you're gonna be freaking kicking yourself in the knees.

Steve Sims 00:48:05 (link to this point)

Yep. Yep. Yeah. It's a tough one. It is a tough one and I don't want anyone out there thinking I'm full of crap, know, and I'm sitting in the garage full of nice toys, but they don't have anything to do with my wealth.

And if a friend of mine phoned up and said, I need $30 or I need $20 real fast. Can I have your motorbike to sell? Fine. You know, pull up, get rid of it. Fine.

Pay me back when you can. So, no, it's it's it's gotta be important to focus on how you live your life and and not with what.

Chris Albert 00:48:37 (link to this point)

Absolutely. And, you know, I think that's really what I get from you in just talking to you and and have hear... Hearing you talk in other places and reading your book is that you have a deep love for people, right, in general. Like, you you have a deep love for people and being able to help people, and and, you know, that's a big reason why you're spreading your message now. You're starting to do these speakeasies.

Tell us about those.

Steve Sims 00:49:04 (link to this point)

So I get to speak a lot of very large events. As I say, the one in Vegas last week, I think it was like 2,000 people. I was in one couple of weeks before that. I'm in one in San Diego in a couple of weeks time. So I'm used to speaking in front of these big crowds, but I actually run these speakeasies.

And the definition of a speakeasy is you don't know where it's going to be. You need to get the password. You need to turn up at a certain time. And so I don't announce the people that are going to be in it. It's 30 people maximum.

I've got one coming up in New York in November. And it's usually like a two day event where we get together, I bring some of my friends in to be able to teach you different things. And these are people that, let's be completely blunt and you know, borderline arrogant, that normally you wouldn't even be able to sit in a room with. Yet they're coming in to help you. And they're going go, look, this is how I do stuff.

And you're going be able to answer, ask them questions. It's a time when we can grow as a community. At the end of it, I usually throw an experience, which again, normally wouldn't be one that you would be able to get to. I'm doing these in Silicon Valley, Miami, New York, LA, probably going to go international soon, but they're just small groups of people that want to grow, love, build a community. Do the best they can because I've spent years spending rich people's money on giving them great cocktail stories.

I'm now using what I've learned to be able to put you in a position so that you can make your own cocktail stories.

Chris Albert 00:50:39 (link to this point)

That's awesome. And you have a course as well, don't you?

Steve Sims 00:50:43 (link to this point)

I do. We've got a few things. You can go to stevedsims.com and see that. It's only one M in Sims. I've got a course.

It's only like about $297. I've also got two other things. You can actually book me for a phone call where for quite simply thirty minutes, I'll answer anything you need and hopefully solve some issues. We've got quite a few clients do that. We've been able to solve an issue within that thirty minutes that they've not needed to do anything further.

We actually have a community called The Pub and The Pub is a community of people so that not only do you get me, you get my Voxer, you get webinars, you get online teaching and practice, you also get the community as well, and you're the first to hear about a Speakeasies. So I have those three things. I have the course, the phone call, and the pub.

Chris Albert 00:51:32 (link to this point)

Awesome. I know we gotta wrap up here in a second, but I have one more question, and it relates to something you said earlier in the interview. You talked about the fact that that your wife was with you back before all this stuff happened. Right? Before she's with you back when you were bricklayer in East London.

And Yep. My question for you is, through this hall, right, through all these transitions that you made, through all the growth, what was your secret to really keeping it together?

Steve Sims 00:52:02 (link to this point)

Transparency. I think there's an underlying theme there when the shit's hitting the fan. See, here's the darn thing, and I I did this. I'm not gonna say my my relationship's been sparkly and brilliant all the time. It hasn't.

It is now. It has been for many, many, many years. But like anyone, we went through our rocky period to be able to learn each other's rhythm. When you have a bad day at work, the normal thing that you would do is come home, eat dinner with the family, but not actually talk about it, not be open about it. Why?

Because you were trying to protect them from tough things going on. Well, you're not protecting them because now they're sitting there going, well, why is he in a pissy mood? Have I done something to offend him? And all of a sudden there's this friction in the rub. So we learned very many years ago, if I'm having a bad mood, I'll come over to my wife and I'm like, I'm having a bad mood.

I can't get this. I don't have enough money for this. This has happened. Everything's going wrong in that area there. And she will know exactly what's wrong, but more importantly, that it has no relevance to her.

So I'm a great believer in the transparency so that she can get an idea of what I'm going through. The amount of times I've gone, Oh, this and this and this and this, she's just gone, Why don't you just do that? And sometimes you're too much in the picture to be able to look at the picture. And it takes an outsider to be able look and go, well, you're not connecting the dots. And you go, oh my God, I don't have a problem now.

So transparency is key.

Chris Albert 00:53:34 (link to this point)

Yeah, I think that's a huge part of your story as far as everything goes that I hadn't heard before. You know, far as I think that's a huge part of being successful is being able to keep a relationship like that together and have somebody in your life who's supporting you through that, who's helping you through that. And I think it's a problem for a lot of guys because they get themselves wrapped up into relationships where the communication is poor and where they don't feel like they can be transparent. And I can't think of anything worse or that can hold the person back more than getting involved in a romantic relationship with somebody who can't do that for you.

Steve Sims 00:54:14 (link to this point)

Well, you've just said can't do it for you, yet you've turned around and you've said about communication. The chances are that if you've got a bad relationship, and I hate to say this fellas and ladies, but 80% of it is probably going to be your fault. So if you're not willing to be transparent, if you're not willing to be open, it's your fault, it's your fault. So you've got to find a situation where you can be as open as possible. Now if the other person doesn't reciprocate, then that's a relationship that needs to find the door because it's not there for you.

But you're not going to know that until you open up. Luckily I opened up and I found that there was a relationship that was way strong. I love my wife way more now than I ever did when I met her. Jeepers, you know, it's not even close. You've got to find that relationship that basically makes you twice as big.

Chris Albert 00:55:12 (link to this point)

Absolutely. Absolutely. Steve, number one, I wanna thank you so much for coming on today. Number two, like I said, I want everybody to go out there and check out your book Bluefishing. Lots and lots of good information in here. And, you know, like I said, it's one of the best books I've read this year. It's helped me so much in managing this podcast and getting guests on.

And then beyond that, you know, everybody should be checking out your website, steve, stevedsims.com. And, you know, any last words to the audience, Steve?

Steve Sims 00:55:46 (link to this point)

No. Just stop over complicating shit and just just do it, you know. Get going and then get good.

Chris Albert 00:55:53 (link to this point)

Absolutely. Ladies and gents, thank you so much for listening to the Warrior Soul podcast this week. And like the man said, get out there and get to it and get out there and live your best lives while you can.