Cracking the Female Code with Mike Kollin

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

This is Chris Albert, and I'm here to remind you of one thing. Someday, you're going to die. Now that's not some morbid statement or scary idea. It's solid fact. Your time here on this earth is limited.

You need to be reminded of this as much as possible for one simple reason, to live your best life while you can. This is the Warrior Soul podcast. Look, guys. There is nothing, and I'm telling you nothing that could bring you down more than a really bad relationship. Or if you're in a relationship that goes south, and you end up with a divorce or really bad breakup, again, that's something that can really hurt you.

But a lot of guys are out there and they're they're just trying to figure out the dating world. And, again, that's a situation where if you don't have anybody in your life, life just isn't going the way you want. So what I wanted to do is I wanted to bring on an expert because Lord knows I'm not an expert when it comes to women. I've been through a divorce myself. I've been through some really bad breakups.

Luckily, now, by the grace of God, I am in an amazing relationship with an amazing woman. I don't know what she sees on me. But, you know, I guess I'm lucky. Whatever. So what I did was I brought a gentleman on.

His name is mister Mike Kollin, and he's the author of a book called Crack the Female Code. And he has a host of different theories that he uses to help men to understand women. And I have to say during this podcast, he brought up a lot of different things that, you know, pretty much blew my head up about the way women think. It's really interesting. And, you know, you'll listen and you'll hear I'm a little bit like, what do you mean?

And what's going on there? And, you know, the big thing for me is that, you know, I guess I'm very ignorant on a lot of these subjects, and I was really trying to get as much out of him for you guys as possible. Great guy. Like I said, he's he's got a lot of knowledge. Interestingly, his background is as a champion kickboxer, and one of his coaches was the famous Stitch Duran, the the really famous cut man from the UFC.

And so, yeah, he's he's a he's a dude who's kind of figured out the code. So he also wanted me to let you guys know he he's giving 25% off on all his books and his products for our listeners. And in order to get that discount, you can head over to www.mikekollin, and that's mikekollin.com, and use the code Warrior at checkout at his site, and, you'll get 25 off on anything off of his site. Like I said, great conversation and we'll get into it in a second. I just also wanted to say thank you to all of you for listening to this show.

You know, I'm getting comments all the time about how it's helping all of you out there in the veteran community and even some people who are not in the veteran community listen to the show. And that's what this is all about. It's giving you guys value, so that you can get out there, dominate life, and do what you were meant to do, and be the men and the women you were meant to be. So it's my privilege to serve you, and I really appreciate you guys supporting the show. If you want to support our sponsors who helped to keep us running here, head over to f bomb nutrition and check them out.

Amazing company. They make delicious macadamia nut butters, and they're also supporting our troops by sending packages of their product overseas so they can supplement their MREs. And if you want some of their delicious macadamia nut butters or their cheese snacks, head over to www.dropanfbomb.com and use the code Warrior Soul at checkout. That's about it guys. I'm not going to give you any more announcements here.

Let's get into this conversation about cracking the female code with mister Mike. Mister Mike Kollin, welcome to the Warrior Soul podcast.

Mike Kollin 00:05:05 (link to this point)

Thank you. Appreciate it.

Chris Albert 00:05:07 (link to this point)

Awesome. So you've got the crack the female code course going on right now. And, you know, a lot of our most of our audience out there, they're US military veterans, young guys. Right? They're out there trying to figure out the dating world if they're not married already or even if they are.

What should they understand about women that they don't already?

Mike Kollin 00:05:33 (link to this point)

Alright. So there's really one phrase, but the phrase is something that men don't use, we don't understand, but there's one thing, the number one thing that women are looking for that men just don't do. And it's called emotional fulfillment. Now emotional fulfillment is a right brain process. It's done through what's called the right brain language.

So if a woman gets emotional fulfillment from a man, she will be content, she will be happy, she will be satisfied. Without emotional fulfillment, she's gonna cheat. She's going to, if she doesn't leave you physically in your marriage, she's gonna leave you emotionally and physically. The sex will just, boom, it'll drop. And the modern woman does not wait as long.

I knew a lady from church a long time ago, and she was from the South, and she said, You know, after twenty five years, I realized there was something either wrong with him, or he was just dumb. Mhmm. It's not that men are dumb. We're wired in the opposite direction. So here's a phrase I came up with when I was talking to a client of mine, he's a pilot, an executive pilot, and I said in order for a woman to understand you, she has to have an emotional experience of what you're saying.

Now that's a right brain process, so let me kind of back up just a little bit. The left brain is the male brain. Both men and women have a left brain and a male brain. They operate the same way. The right brain is the female brain, okay? Now this is important because she's born using that brain, that's natural to her, that's what she uses. Learning how to use the logical brain is something that she's forced to do through elementary, middle school, high school. Math, business, science, pretty much nine out of 10 classes we take in school other than art and music.

Chris Albert 00:07:29 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:07:29 (link to this point)

Okay? So here's the challenge. We are speaking two completely different languages. I don't mean that metaphorically, I mean that literally. Now women are very aware that communication between men and women is missing.

There's something not right, they don't get it, and they always say we need to work on communication. Here's the challenge. The male brain is left brain. We're born using our left brain. We don't even know we're doing it.

It's so natural to us. So what happens is he processes that through his logical left brain, goes, well, if it's all about communication, as one multi millionaire client of mine, he goes, I have my master's degree in communication, why am I going through my second divorce? And I had a date here, the young lady, and she looked at it and she goes, No, not logical communication, right brain, the internal language. It's a different language. Go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:08:25 (link to this point)

So so when you're talking about emotional communication. Right? And and and again

Mike Kollin 00:08:32 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Chris Albert 00:08:32 (link to this point)

Most of this audience were were men. A lot of us are are veterans. When you're seeing that, what essentially, what's an example of that?

Mike Kollin 00:08:43 (link to this point)

Let me back up a little bit. I do not mean emotional, as in crying, as in, again, that is something that was all the way back in the seventies and the whole hippies movement. Men thought, oh, I need to cry. No, is not what she's saying. Right brain communication is five senses communication.

Here's what I mean. The left brain is very much like the IBM computer. It processes in the same way. It's the external linear processor, meaning it goes in a line and it processes words through logic. Right.

The right brain is literally the non logical processor. Now most men will think, oh yeah, see women are not logical. Technically you're right, but it's like going to Mexico and saying, oh, you people aren't logical because you don't speak English. No, that's wrong. They're just speaking a different language and they're processing in the opposite way.

It's the Apple computer, the right brain processes like the Apple computer. Now the right brain processes through the five senses, see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. Alright?

Chris Albert 00:09:51 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Mike Kollin 00:09:52 (link to this point)

Now, this is gonna get good. Let me put a couple pieces together, and then you're gonna go, oh, no shit, I understand that. So, the Apple computer is known for being very good with graphics and visuals and all that stuff, very similar to see, hear, feel, smell, and taste, the five senses, okay?

Chris Albert 00:10:08 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Mike Kollin 00:10:08 (link to this point)

So the right brain is the internal brain. Now what does that mean? That means the right brain is all about emotions and feelings. Now it does not mean to cry, it does not mean to be emotional, there's a difference. It could be powerful.

Right. It could be confident, it could be all that stuff. One thing when men take my course like, so I have to become effeminate? No, not at all. That is the wrong thing to do.

It's about you stepping into your power. Now here's the deal, think a Ferrari. It's a powerful engine or a Corvette, right? But the problem is you don't have your fuel. The right brain is the emotional fuel to that Ferrari. Now it's powerful. Okay, most men are very stuck in their left brain. Here's why.

The female brain was born with more neurological connections between the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere. That's technically called the corpus callosum. Okay, so all that means is it's a bundle of nerves that connects the left to the right. So what that means is in a millisecond, can go logical and then she can go right back to the five senses right brain, it's the emotional, spiritual, creative processor. The right brain essentially is the creative brain, right?

Chris Albert 00:11:23 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Mike Kollin 00:11:24 (link to this point)

Now the left brain is the logical processor. So one of the things that men have to understand is her mating okay. Let let's go here. So a lot of this has to do with a caveman. And one of my symbols, I don't know if you saw it anywhere on my website, but I have this really graphically drawn caveman on my homepage towards the bottom, it's on a couple blogs and it's an awesome image.

Now here's the deal, I don't teach men to be effeminate, I teach men to be more masculine. What that literally means is stepping into your right brain, because the right brain is the social brain. Most men, when they go to business parties, most men, when they go to just a friend's party, they stay in their logical linear brain. And that tells the female mating system that's not to get mate with. Now a lot of guys are like, well then why do they marry all these guys?

Because there's only about 7% of men in society that are open to the right brain. It's very rare, it's very rare. I have met a ton of men with doctor degrees from Harvard and Berkeley, millionaires, oh I'm very creative. What they really are saying unconsciously is they're using their left brain in the box, mathematical computation. The male brain perceives that as what women are saying is creative thinking.

Creative thinking is outside of the box and that's the right brain. And here's the key. Both of our mating systems are in the lower reptilian brain. So you got the left logical male brain and then the right female emotional five senses processor, and then you have the lower reptilian brain. That's what I call it.

It's also called the reticulating activating system, okay? It's on the brain stem. Both for men and women, our mating systems are there. Now watch this. The male mating system connects to the optic nerve, which connects to his eyes. That's why men are visual, and when I tell women this, they're like, oh, I thought he was just being a jerk looking out at my body, because women don't like that, because it's Because foreign to her mating system, it's in the same place, but it has a nerve that, go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:13:25 (link to this point)

Let's pull this back just a second, right, because again, like I said, I think all this stuff is really interesting. It's just Mhmm. For for a lot of guys out there, they're gonna be like, okay. Well, explain to me what I'm doing wrong. Right?

So what typical guy doing wrong? Both and I wanna talk about it in in multiple situations. So we'll start with the guy who's in a relationship. Right? And then let's go to the guy who's who's looking to meet more females.

Right? So the guy who's in a relationship who right now thinks his wife or his girlfriend hates him and

Mike Kollin 00:14:03 (link to this point)

Hates him. Is that what you said?

Chris Albert 00:14:04 (link to this point)

Hates him. Yeah. Who thinks his wife or his girlfriend hates him, who's trying to figure her out, can't really figure her out. He's trying, but he keeps falling. It's you know, a lot of guys, I feel feel like they're falling all over themselves when they're in relationships because they they don't know how to react to a lot of this stuff.

So so what are they doing wrong?

Mike Kollin 00:14:27 (link to this point)

All right, I'm gonna go there. I've actually got notes on that exact same thing, couple different scenarios on where Let men go me finish this last tiny piece.

Chris Albert 00:14:35 (link to this point)

One minute.

Mike Kollin 00:14:36 (link to this point)

So the male mating system is connected to the optic nerve. This is very important to understand. The female mating system has a nerve that curves off to her right brain's communication center.

Chris Albert 00:14:46 (link to this point)

Okay.

Mike Kollin 00:14:46 (link to this point)

And this begins to answer the questions you just asked. Let me say it again. Male mating system connected to the eyes. Mhmm. Here's why.

Because mother nature wanted him to mate with a female who was healthy. Didn't mean she have to be beautiful or perfect or in perfect shape, but we look at her body in constant. Now it's not a conscious mind, it's our mating system. So why do we get horny? Look at her like woah, I wanna have sex with her. Because her body is healthy. Now if she had fingernails that were yellow that's a sign of cancer. If her hair is falling out, if she's just something is wrong with her skin, we will get turned off Because now here's the reason why and women when they hear this they're like oh I thought men were just being jerks and women love this answer because mother nature wants the male to mate with a female whose body is healthy. I'm gonna get to your questions. Promise you you have to understand this first.

So when women are like men that makes sense because the baby is gonna be in the female's body for nine months. So if the environment is healthy, the odds are the baby's gonna be healthy and that's the whole reason why Mother Nature or God or whatever you believe in made men that way. There's actually a higher purpose. When women hear that they're like, oh I thought men were just like they were crude and they didn't care. No that's not true to all. Men are very caring and very loving.

Men very much come from their heart. The challenge is the way a man loves a woman is not the way a woman receives love. We do it in the external male way like the external left brain way, but women need to receive it in the hidden right brain internal way and this is where we go wrong completely. So let me turn some off hold on. All right, so we're talking about her mating systems in the right brain.

This is all about emotional fulfillment. So let's just break this down, it's super simple. Her mating system has the nerve that curves off to the right brain's communication center. So right now I'm pointing to my ears. This is porno to a woman and this is important because the way men like porno is we look, we visually look at a magazine or an image or a TV at a porno movie or a computer screen.

It's visual. Women love porno, but they don't like visual porno because it does nothing for her mating system. It turns them off. Now this is giving you an idea. So the way you romance, now here's the deal.

The word romance in the female language literally means triple X rated pornographic. Most men think to be romantic is to be polite, to get your car clean, to dress nice, to open the door, to pull out the chair, to pay for the candlelight dinner. That's not romance to a woman. That is the setting. That's just now I was a national champion in kickboxing.

My coach is Jacob Stitch Duran. If any of you guys follow UFC you know who that guy is, he's my former coach. We still keep in touch. I was a great fighter so I'm not an effeminate guy at all. Okay?

Chris Albert 00:17:49 (link to this point)

Right, right.

Mike Kollin 00:17:50 (link to this point)

So what yeah. I'm and because because you mentioned the whole marines and things, you know, and that, and so this is not about becoming

Chris Albert 00:17:56 (link to this point)

I'm not saying that it's it's nothing about being masculine. It's about understanding. It's about, like, trying to figure this out. I'm not saying that it has anything to do with femininity or or masculinity or anything like that. What I'm seeing is that a lot of guys, like, when you hear when you hear, you know, the brain talk, our brains turn off and we're like, what the hell is he talking about?

You know what I mean? And and and a lot of these guys are just like, okay. I'm just trying to figure out what this girl is trying to get from me right now. Right?

Mike Kollin 00:18:25 (link to this point)

Yes.

Chris Albert 00:18:26 (link to this point)

I've been through a divorce. I went through a situation where, you know, me and her just did not speak the same language. And it was like living in a living hell. You know what I mean? I'm in a great relationship now.

Love my girlfriend. But but I've been in these situations where, you know, it seems like we're speaking different languages. It seems like we're living on different planets. And nothing I did seemed like it was right. Right?

See, nothing I did seemed like it was was the right thing to do. And even when I felt like I was doing good things, it was it it felt like it was pissing her off more. So so that's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I I I know you I know you and for those of you who who are listening, yeah, Mike's Mike's Mike's was a top top notch fighter, super masculine guy, but I'm just trying to figure out, you know, exactly exactly what these women want. You know what I mean?

Mike Kollin 00:19:19 (link to this point)

Yeah. You know, what you just said is the reason why the person I don't know if he wants me to use his name. I'll use his first name. Matt sent me to you.

Chris Albert 00:19:27 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:19:27 (link to this point)

It's because he he came in, and we had this exact conversation for an hour and a half and he goes, oh my god, that's what I'm, what you just said, now I'm leading into that, okay? So here's the deal, number one, you're saying okay, what are we doing wrong? Number one, you're in your left brain.

Chris Albert 00:19:42 (link to this point)

Okay.

Mike Kollin 00:19:42 (link to this point)

Well, what do you mean? Well, if we want a woman to be close to us emotionally, you have to be in your right brain, and here's why. If you're in your left brain, she has to go over to her left brain to understand you in a conversation. She can go to her left brain, she does it every day. But what's the problem if she leaves her right brain and goes to her left brain? Her mating system is connected to her right brain. You just disconnected her from romance, love, and emotional fulfillment. Now she feels no connection to you at all emotionally. Now you can see me, the guys can't. So I'm pointing to my forehead, that's number one.

This is important because in order for a woman to connect with you emotionally and sexually, first she has to connect with you mentally. This means even if, like my girlfriend went to Japan in high school and she came back after three months and it was like we started all over because she was like, know, and her girlfriend goes, Mike, back off. I'm like, screw you, that's my girlfriend, man. She goes, just back off. And I'm like, the hell's going on?

I haven't seen you in three months. Like what the hell? And what I learned many years later is even though you just went away, okay, you go away from work, right?

Chris Albert 00:20:58 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:20:58 (link to this point)

You come home eight, nine, ten hours later. You literally have to start over. First you have to do a mental connection, and that's through the logical language, and then you have to connect emotionally, which men don't do.

Chris Albert 00:21:10 (link to this point)

Yeah, well some of these guys, they're coming home after like nine, ten, twelve months, right? Yep. From deployment, so that's very applicable here, right?

Mike Kollin 00:21:21 (link to this point)

Absolutely, absolutely. So here's, I'm gonna get into a cute story about that. It's gonna make your brain pop, go, oh no shit. So I'm gonna get to some really fun stuff here, I promise you. So number one, she needs the most fulfillment. So, we're speaking two different languages, like I said, it's just like going to Mexico. If you don't speak Spanish, like, okay, before I took Spanish in high school, it was gibberish to me, and I don't mean that disrespectfully. It was just like, was like, what are they doing? Why don't they just talk normal?

And that's the way men and women experience each other. Women look at men like, and this is what women say to me all the time, in fact, say it on Plenty of Fish, on dating sites, I'm looking for a man who knows how to communicate. Most men think she means left brain, the logical stuff you learned proper English in high school and college. That is not what she's talking about, she's talking about the right brain language. So women look at men like we're dumb because we don't speak their language, and men look at women like, you don't make any sense.

So let me back up one step and I'll go into the story. So when a man is in his left brain, that will take her out of her mating system and her emotional system. So here's what happens. This is the absolute worst feeling that a man can do to a woman. He doesn't even know he's doing it.

The harder a man tries to love a woman, expresses love, the more it takes her out of her heart. And she feels a feeling called emptiness. And this is absolutely a nightmare to a woman. A woman is born, her lifelong journey is to find whole and complete, to feel complete inside. All right.

I know this sounds like gibberish.

Chris Albert 00:23:00 (link to this point)

Say that again. Say that again one more time. You said the harder a man loves a woman, the more empty she feels?

Mike Kollin 00:23:07 (link to this point)

Yes. Because when we do it in the male way, that's the external way, which shoves her, pulls her, forces her into her left brain. The women will see, yeah, that's why, okay, have you ever seen it in a movie or maybe you've heard it yourself or maybe your buddy's wife did it? I've heard it a million times, guarantee I've heard it thousands of times. Where a woman will say after you spend $200 or $150 on a really nice dinner and a date and she goes honey, I just gotta go home. I've got a headache, I'm tired.

What happens is when you're in your left brain it forces her brain to close-up. Like see how I'm using my hands, like making this narrow pointy thing, right? And what that does, it's like closing the gate, the iron gate and it's closed. Now she feels like she's locked and stuck. In order for a woman to feel good she wants to feel what's called emotionally grounded.

Again, that's another female word. So technically what happens is when you're in your left brain your pupils are small and they're pointed together just like you're pointing a rifle at a target, a pinpoint. What we wanna do is get you in peripheral vision and bring that down inside your body. When your awareness is inside your body it opens her up. When she opens up she's gonna fall in love with you.

She's gonna wanna have sex with you. But the way you do that is by being internal yourself and that's another kind of thing. So let me get to this story. All right so I lived with my high school football coach who's a big offensive lineman, he played offense in high school, was a big dude, about three hundred some pounds, six foot four, whatever. Right.

He comes home from work, and me and Barry, his son, we were in the same grade, we were sitting on the couch, and we were looking in through the kitchen, and he walks in the door and his wife goes, hey honey, how was your day? He goes, Oh, it was good, had a pretty good day. She goes, Oh, okay. And a couple minutes later she kind of, Well, how was it? And he goes, Well, it was good, it was okay, I just told you.

And so she a couple minutes later she goes well are you going to tell me how your day was? And he's like I just told you what do you want? It was good it wasn't bad it wasn't great and she goes oh okay and then the next day, I know, you've heard this a million times, just let me do this, trust me, you're gonna love this, you will love this. The next day, the same thing, me and Barry are looking at, Barry's grinning because he's like, oh the fireworks is about to start. The third day, again, same thing, he walks in the door and Barry goes to Mike, watch this, he's gonna blow his lid.

He walks in, how was your day, honey? He's like, oh, it was good, it was okay, and you could see in his eyes like, I just gotta get past this moment, otherwise we're gonna get in a fight, and that's a very typical experience with married couples.

Chris Albert 00:25:47 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:25:47 (link to this point)

And so he kind of hurries in the kitchen and washes his hands and she kind of cut him off and she goes, well how was it? And he goes, well I told you it was good, it wasn't great, it wasn't bad, it was nothing bad happened, it was okay, I'm in a good mood. And she's like, well okay, and you can hear her in her voice, she's digging her heels in. Now here's why. The male form of communication, she cannot understand, and I'm not joking.

If you had your wife or girlfriend there she'd say yeah, men don't communicate. We're left with a blank. I'll get to that in a second. So here's what happened. So basically, so she digs her heels in and she waits about thirty seconds and she raises her, she goes well how was your day, are you gonna tell me or not?

He goes I just told you. She goes what does that mean? Now this is a big six foot four, three hundred plus offensive line coach, he literally spins in circles like the Tasmanian devil and he screams out, not every goddamn thing has to have a mother, can I cuss a little here?

Chris Albert 00:26:45 (link to this point)

Yeah, go

Mike Kollin 00:26:46 (link to this point)

A motherfucking deeper spiritual meaning and she goes, oh, well, okay. And she walks back to the bedroom and closes the door and he's like, oh my God, every fucking day. And here's why. The right brain understands communication through paragraphs of information. All right, I'm gonna give you guys something right now and I'm gonna come back to this story because if you understand this you're gonna understand why. Number one, the right brain is hardwired to always look for and ask for a deeper meaning. It can't help it. It's just like the older Japanese car, I don't know if it's true now, but their electrical system is wired in the opposite way as the American car. It's just different.

Her right brain is hardwired to always ask, well what does that mean or what's a deeper meaning of that or what's a deeper spiritual meaning of that, okay? Every time you talk to her, her left brain is just like yours. A means A, that's it, nothing else. But her right brain goes, okay, well he said A, but what does that really mean? And if you don't tell her what that means, she's left with a complete blank. All right, now let me explain the male side and then this will help you understand women a lot better.

So the male cortex, because we have always fought in the worst for thousands and thousands of years, all the way back to cave manner, we were always the hunter. I know things have changed recently, but for the most part, we are absolutely still neurologically wired the way we were hundreds and thousands of years ago, okay? Our mating system's still the same way now. Our visual cortex in the back of our brain, now I'm assuming you're in the military yourself, right?

Chris Albert 00:28:34 (link to this point)

Yes sir.

Mike Kollin 00:28:36 (link to this point)

Okay, so I'm sure you guys had different, I don't know if you're infantry or what you did, but you guys had different signals, hand signals, where you Yeah, yeah. Could literally communicate What's that?

Chris Albert 00:28:45 (link to this point)

I was in infantry.

Mike Kollin 00:28:46 (link to this point)

So you could literally communicate to some guy that's 40 yards away, because here's the problem. So our visual cortex is larger and more highly developed than the female's visual cortex.

Now why? Because when you're hunting, you can't go, hey Jim, the deer's over there. Well what's the deer gonna do? Gonna take off, right?

Chris Albert 00:29:08 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Mike Kollin 00:29:09 (link to this point)

Alright.

Chris Albert 00:29:10 (link to this point)

Yeah.

Mike Kollin 00:29:10 (link to this point)

I It's the same thing in go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:29:12 (link to this point)

I get so so what I'm trying to so again, because, like, maybe I'm, like, the worst person in the world at this, but, like, what

Mike Kollin 00:29:22 (link to this point)

so for example you you go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:29:27 (link to this point)

I'm left handed.

Mike Kollin 00:29:28 (link to this point)

Right?

Chris Albert 00:29:28 (link to this point)

Alright. So left handed, does that mean I'm right brained, or does that mean I'm left brained?

Mike Kollin 00:29:34 (link to this point)

Not necessarily.

Chris Albert 00:29:36 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:29:36 (link to this point)

It does increase the percentage. Yes. That is very true. Okay. It's it go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:29:42 (link to this point)

Well and then the other aspect was this. Alright. So with I'm just going back to that statement about, alright. You take a woman out, you wine her, you dine her, you try to show love that way. How is that right left brain versus right brain?

Mike Kollin 00:30:00 (link to this point)

Alright. Watch this. You just said it.

Chris Albert 00:30:05 (link to this point)

Mhmm.

Mike Kollin 00:30:06 (link to this point)

So you wine her and dine her, and you show her that you love her. The male mating system is directly connected to the optic nerve, which is connected to his eyes. Men think and truly believe, because it's the way we're wired. We are wired visually. When we look at a woman's hot body, we're ready to go.

Chris Albert 00:30:27 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:30:28 (link to this point)

That's a foreign concept to women. They're like, what, why? All right, so if I was a kickboxing champion, I always use this story. Okay, so you're talking about the visual stuff, so paying for things, dinner, candlelight, a room, that's all visual. Getting chrome rims, buying a new car, getting a haircut, putting on a brand new freshly pressed dress shoes, that's all visual.

It does not melt her heart and it does not turn her on sexually and that's what she wants. So you're paying for all this stuff, you're paying hundreds of dollars date after date after date after date, and she's just going, oh God, when is she gonna get it? And women try to help you, but they don't know how to help you, but damn it, they're gonna give it their best try. So you're doing, if you wanted to pick up on a guy, I'll be honest with you, that's the way to do it, because the male mating system is connected to the eyes, period. Unconsciously, we project the way we receive love and the way that we are turned on onto women, and women do the same thing to us, All right? So the expensive or cheap, it could be literally a $25 meal. I'm not kidding. In fact, you are better off paying for a cheap meal if you take a woman out on a first or second date, here's why.

When it's an expensive date, she goes, uh-oh, he thinks I owe him sex. Men don't wanna admit it, but they treat women like prostitutes. We think the more we pay for dinner, the more expensive the date, then she's gonna have sex with me, and that offends the hell out of women. And right now I guarantee you, if you had a thousand women listening, 90% of them say yeah, can't stand it when a guy does that. So here's what the dining area is for or any kind of date. Data's like the kickboxing arena. The fans showed up, the judges showed up, the referee showed up, the doctor is there, everyone's there except the fighters.

The event never happened. So she's sitting there across the table from you waiting for this hidden right brain language. Part of the right brain language is double pictures. Remember she's left and right brained. So when you say A, her left brain is okay got it just like you got it.

But then a right brain kicks in and this is the double picture. Well what does that really mean? Alright I'm gonna give you guys an example of double pictures in language. A lot of guys are like dude, I don't get it, you're only five foot eight and a half, I'm six foot one, I've got a brand new Ferrari, I've got a Mercedes Benz, I make way more money than you, but I don't get it, like why did all the women, they open up to you like literally in seconds, okay, I'm gonna say something. So whenever a woman asks me what I do for a living, she literally just opens up a can of worms, a can of whoop ass.

I'm just like awesome, it's on. Because it's so easy. All I have to say is, well, I specialize in communication between men and women. Right there alone her mating system just got triggered. It literally neurologically triggered her.

And then I see, because her mating system is looking for a man who knows how to communicate. She's looking at him like, does he mean right brain communication? And then when I added in communication between men and women, it triggers her. Now you're probably not getting triggered because you're a man. And here's all I say, I teach men how to open up to the right brain and right there, that's like ding ding ding ding ding ding because that's what they're looking for.

Right brain because it turns her on sexually. We're going full pornal right now. What do you mean? Mike, you just said you teach men how to open up to the right brain. What are you talking about?

It is a coded language. Now watch this, I teach men how to open up to the right brain and speak the internal ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. She's going, holy shit, this guy gets it. The internal mentally stimulating and emotionally fulfilling language. That's all I say.

Mentally stimulating, well, that sounds boring. That sounds like, I don't get it, Mike. Why would that turn away? The forehead is the equivalent of the clitoris. When you literally say mentally stimulating, you're literally saying clitoris stimulating and she feels that.

And then when you say emotionally fulfilling, that's the heart. The heart is the double picture. Emotionally fulfilling is A, but what does that really mean? What's the deeper meaning of that? It literally is the penis going into the vagina.

That is sexual intercourse. This language you can talk out in public in front of her mom and her mom knows exactly what you're saying, but it's okay because it's the right brain way, the way her mating system is wired. Women want to be romanced. They want to be, I'm sorry, romance is the equivalent in the male language of seduced, like hola means hello. Women want to be seduced.

They want to be erotically sexually turned on. Right now if there's a woman listening, she's like, you mean men don't know that? I'm like, nope, they think they're supposed to be proper and prim, but the problem is whenever we try to romance or, I'm sorry, seduce a woman in a male way, visually, it pisses her off. Okay, I'm gonna stop right there. Did that kind of make sense or, go ahead, do have questions?

Chris Albert 00:35:39 (link to this point)

A little bit, a little bit. So a couple things, and I wanna bring this back to the coach example in a second. All right, so number one, the question is this. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, right? If men, if women were evolved to be like that, why aren't there more men who know how to communicate or whose natural instinct is to communicate like this from an evolutionary psychology perspective?

Mike Kollin 00:36:08 (link to this point)

There's an absolute answer to that. Let me grab a picture, hold on.

Chris Albert 00:36:12 (link to this point)

And and I can't see I can't see you right now. I think I gotta get you to turn your

Mike Kollin 00:36:17 (link to this point)

What's that?

Chris Albert 00:36:18 (link to this point)

I I can't see you I can't see you right now, so I'll have to get your

Mike Kollin 00:36:22 (link to this point)

Oh, you can't see me?

Chris Albert 00:36:24 (link to this point)

Yeah. I can't see you right now. Let me see if this will go on here.

Mike Kollin 00:36:27 (link to this point)

Is there? Let me see through the button I'm supposed to push.

Chris Albert 00:36:29 (link to this point)

If you hit that, it says it says video on the bottom. There you go. Now I see it. Yeah. Here we go.

Alright. Hold on.

Mike Kollin 00:36:47 (link to this point)

All right, now for those of you who want to see an image of this, it's on my home page. At the bottom, it's a little image. I believe it's on there. Yeah. It's go to Mike, m i k e k o l l i n dot com.

Chris Albert 00:37:01 (link to this point)

I'll I'll link it up on the, on the show notes as well.

Mike Kollin 00:37:05 (link to this point)

Okay. Well, just so they can see the caveman. Oh, I didn't. I'll put it on there a little bit later than okay. It's not on there right now.

So I'll show it to you. I'm gonna answer your question with this. So go ahead and ask ask the question again. Okay.

Chris Albert 00:37:18 (link to this point)

How come how From an evolutionary perspective, right, if because mating obviously is part of procreation of the species. Right? So Mhmm. So then why didn't we evolve to to to be like this? Right?

Mike Kollin 00:37:33 (link to this point)

Okay. So why did we evolve to stop doing that, you mean?

Chris Albert 00:37:36 (link to this point)

Yeah. Why didn't we evolve to to communicate with our right brains?

Mike Kollin 00:37:43 (link to this point)

You said it in the in the wrong way. We used to do it. We evolved out of it.

Chris Albert 00:37:48 (link to this point)

Okay.

Mike Kollin 00:37:49 (link to this point)

And Now here's what I mean. Go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:37:52 (link to this point)

And so how did we evolve out of it?

Mike Kollin 00:37:55 (link to this point)

Okay. So you have to understand what it was in the first place.

Real simple. In the old era, and you don't have to go back that far because literally you can go back about sixty, eighty years to one hundred years. The majority of men still had to hunt, still had to deal with farm animals, we still had to be tuned into our right brain. The cavemen, the American Indian, the cowboys, they had to have intuition. The right brain is that five senses, see, hear, feel, smell, taste. That's intuition, that's all it is. So you could talk about a radar system. Your right brain is connected to your radar system but the male brain, the left brain is external. It disconnects you from your radar system. This is important. I'm going answer your question.

In a caveman era, in order for a caveman to survive, he had to be extremely right brained. He had to be able to smell the scent of a saber tooth tiger from half a mile away, and I'm not kidding. Now remember, they didn't have high powered rifles, they didn't have high powered bow and arrows. They had sharpened sticks basically and some basic devices. They had to be able to spot a deer through thick brushing trees a mile away off to the right in his peripheral vision. The average caveman was wide open visually and I was running back and that's one of the reasons why I was really good at running back. I could cut and move and turn and avoid tackles and some of my running back mates were like, how did you know to turn?

That guy came up from almost behind you. I'm like, oh, I could sense him, I could feel it. And athletes that have good senses, that's why they're really good athletes. You can't be a logical fighter. I mean, I'm telling you every time I step in the ring, my coach stay loose, Mikey, stay loose, stay loose. What that literally means is you have to stay relaxed because there's an artery in the lower brain controlled by that reptilian brain. When you're relaxed that artery opens up and that allows the blood to flow up into your right brain.

That's your instinctual brain, your five senses. Now your instinctual reptilian brain is directly connected to your right brain and now you can fight a lot better but you have to be open, have to stay relaxed. That's another reason why I did really well in sports and I went up the ladder really fast in every sport I did. So in order for the caveman to survive, to hunt and to stay alive from dangerous animals, he had to be able to sense a saber tooth tiger from a mile away so he could run, so he could climb a tree or do something to get the hell out of there or just be prepared with a stick. Now the modern male, they've actually done studies on this.

The average modern Western minded male, if you dropped him into the jungles of Brazil, they say he would die within four hours. The average caveman, he could live probably for life, forever. Because he can sense danger, he can smell it. Now, I don't mean mystical magical, I mean literally smell here because not only can your eyes be peripheral, your ears can be, there's a technique that I learned in Hawaii called Hakalau. You can make your eyes, your ears, and your kinesthetic, meaning your physical body open up peripherally in a big circle all the way around you literally like a radar system and that's one the main things I teach guys.

When a man walks into the room like that, he's already in his right brain, and a woman that's making a decision, boom, gets triggered. So when you're trying to be logical, the worst thing you can do is be logical with the woman. She won't understand you, and it turns her off sexually.

Chris Albert 00:41:22 (link to this point)

What should your football coach have done in his situation? Comes home, honey, how was your day? How should he have answered that question?

Mike Kollin 00:41:33 (link to this point)

Got it. Good question.

Chris Albert 00:41:35 (link to this point)

Okay.

Mike Kollin 00:41:35 (link to this point)

So what he should have done is he, let's say I taught him this, he should realize her right brain does not understand the left brain processing. So what he should have done was he should have, the right brain is about descriptive language, adjectives and adverbs. It just means describe things. So when you say I had a good day, a great day, an awesome day, she's looking at you like, okay, what the hell does that mean? You have to describe it.

So he blew up at it and goes, what do you want? Do you want the effing details? And then I step and say, yes she needs the details in order to understand what the hell you're talking about. He needed to say well my boss, he didn't give me a raise today but he didn't fire me. No one yelled at me today, it was a smooth day, everything was easy, everything worked smooth, we went to the so and so place, he would go to bridges and buildings and he would inspect the welds on old bridges.

He would have to literally tell her the details and then break it down. Let me give you another example because I don't know his job well enough to be able to do that. So an example would be when men talk it's a complete blank to women. Right now if women are listening like, oh my god, tell me about it. Here, I'm gonna give you an example.

Okay, I'm gonna give you a real one right now. I just bought an awesome table. I mean it is awesome. It's the best table I ever bought in my life. What kind of table is it?

Chris Albert 00:43:02 (link to this point)

I don't know, what kind of table is it?

Mike Kollin 00:43:04 (link to this point)

Exactly. Is it a business table? Is it a computer table? Is it a kitchen table? Is it a footstool?

Is it a coffee table? That is exactly the way men talk to women every single conversation. It was an awesome day, it was fine, it wasn't good, it wasn't great, she's like, what are you talking about? Like, what do you mean? What kind of table did you buy? In fact, even said this to clients, oh my God, my wife actually got mad at me because I told her I ordered this awesome table and she's like, what do you mean?

It's a great table, trust me, it got a good deal on it. She doesn't know, is it a metal table? Does it have a glass top? Is it made of wood? Is it dark wood?

Is it oak, pine? What the hell is it? Right there. Imagine being in a relationship, living in a house with a partner and every single conversation you have, I don't mean some, I mean every conversation because the male language is to the point language that goes back to the caveman era, okay? Imagine every single conversation you have, you walk away going, I have no idea what the hell he just said.

And I ask women, why don't you ask men, well what do you mean? And I remember just one moment she was, oh no, you don't ever ask a man what he means. I go, Why? Because they blow up and they act like you killed their firstborn child, and like, Oh my God, and then I reflected back to my football coach, and I reflected back to me when I did the same thing with my girlfriend, I blew up, I'm like, It doesn't mean anything.

Chris Albert 00:44:29 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:44:30 (link to this point)

The male brain does not like that word. Go ahead.

Chris Albert 00:44:32 (link to this point)

So let me ask you this. We I think the biggest thing for for this episode, we got a lot of guys out there, like I said in this show, who may they might have just come home from from nine, ten month deployments, year long deployments. What what's your best advice for them as far as you know, because a lot of times these guys don't wanna talk about what happens on deployment. A lot of guy a lot of times they they they're having real problems with communication after they come home. What's the best thing they could do?

Mike Kollin 00:45:09 (link to this point)

Man, you you're really talking about a really tough thing Because they're mentally, I was in the military, I was airborne infantry. Mhmm. And I didn't fight in war, I'll be real honest about that. But I will tell you, the first day I came home from boot camp, realized how different the world looked. It was different.

And I realized, it took me many many months later, the world didn't change, I changed. I became so different. Now imagine, and I don't know if you actually went to war or deployed, but imagine being in a war zone for three months, six months, and then going back again and then having to come home with your wife. You're not, your mind, it's like your mind is in a completely different place. It's one of the things that I think is probably the most unfair that I think society does to soldiers.

People don't understand.

Chris Albert 00:46:09 (link to this point)

Go ahead. Well, here's the thing, deployed to Iraq in 2003, It wasn't like any big deal. Right? I didn't do much while I was over there. But I came home.

Right? And so after being in charge of a team of, you know, 12 marines and going through all that, you come home and you get asked well, or what's the deal? And then you have to hear about somebody waiting in line at Starbucks or somebody, know, and then if it's a girl telling you, she's gotta tell you everything about waiting in line at Starbucks, she's gonna complain about it, she's gonna go through everything, and you're your head, you're going like, my god, is this what you're complaining about? That's what your day is? That's gonna ruin your freaking day right now?

That's kinda I'm with you. Yeah.

Mike Kollin 00:46:56 (link to this point)

So I'm with you. Okay, so we're bouncing on a totally different subject. I'll go there as best as I can. So number one, it's gonna take time to adjust, period. I know coming back from boot camp was nothing, nothing like going to Iraq at all, and I totally admit that, but it was still a shock.

So I do a lot of hypnosis, I trained in hypnosis for twelve years, and I understand when your mind changes, like when guys take my five day course, when they get home, the world looks different, and they're like what the hell, what happened? I'm like you let go of a lot of your limiting beliefs. So when you're talking about a guy coming home from Iraq, it's a mind set that he to shift back to being in society.

Chris Albert 00:47:43 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:47:43 (link to this point)

And it's not easy, it's not an easy shift. So that you're, we're crossing over two different subjects.

Chris Albert 00:47:51 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:47:52 (link to this point)

It's something I could work with someone, it would take time, it wouldn't be in a moment, but it would be a lot faster than working with a psychologist for sure. I'm an NLP trainer and a master of the therapist, I do a bunch of other things. The work I do is a lot faster, but I mean, which direction do you wanna go? Do you wanna talk about that, or do you wanna go back to the communications side on what she say? Because you're talking about like she's nitpicking about Starbucks and waiting in line.

There is an answer for that.

Chris Albert 00:48:18 (link to this point)

Right, you know, and I guess maybe I'm I'm equating everything in the same thing. You know what I mean? I'm just trying to find some practical advice for some of the guys out there who are listening right now just because, you know, a lot of these guys are are you know, it it it it's tough code to crack. I mean, it's it's you're trying to figure this stuff out, and you get a lot of other stuff to worry about on your plate. And a lot of times, you know, when when a lot of times just speaking as a man, when a woman starts bringing all this other stuff into it, it's like, oh my god, I've got all these other things to worry about right now, and she's gonna go there.

Alright? She's gonna go there. She's gonna try and bring this thing up to the top of the the the food chain here. And and that's, I think one of the most frustrating things.

Mike Kollin 00:49:08 (link to this point)

Okay, I'm just gonna talk because I know the answer to your question. It's not an easy, okay, the male brain wants a quick answer. In order to understand this, you have to understand a couple pieces. All right? Now what we're doing is very male. So let's go back to the caveman era. Why is the male brain, why do we, because the male brain, we love the phrase get to the point and that will piss a woman off. If you wanna piss a woman off on purpose when she's trying to explain something to you, just casually say hey, get to the point. She'll flip her lid.

Chris Albert 00:49:41 (link to this point)

Right.

Mike Kollin 00:49:42 (link to this point)

Because the female is trying to describe every detail of this picture right here. That's what they do. Well, men do is they focus on a finite because the male brain is focused like we're looking through a microscope, like a little tiny thing. We talk about that little tiny thing and women can't stand it because her brain cannot understand that kind of language. Give little me leeway here, just let me talk for a little bit.

I will put the pieces together, I promise. So the right brain is all about the bigger picture. That's how women relate. Now here's why, let me go back to that hunting story. Our visual cortex is larger because