How to Get More Confidence

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

You know, I hear from a lot of people who are dealing with confidence issues. And a lot of people, you know, they'll look out at what's going on in the world today, and they'll kind of blame the current events. Right? I I I I hear constantly, I don't like this world I'm in. I don't like this state of being.

I feel like I'm stuck in an alternate universe where things are upside down and where I have no purpose in being here. That's the feeling of being an observer. Right? When you're not walking the line that everybody else is walking, when you're not experiencing the archetypes that everybody tells you you should be experiencing. That's that feeling of of just observing and not participating.

And I know that feeling well because it's been with me through throughout my life. You know, I grew up hearing about the American family and and how important it was. And, you know, I never had a dad growing up, and and that doesn't mean that I had a horrible childhood. I had a great childhood. I had a mother who who basically would have thrown herself on the railroad tracks for me and my sister.

But there was always that thing, that thing when, you know, you're at football practice and, you know, your parents aren't there, but somebody else's are, and they're encouraging them. And you're sitting there and you're relying on your own mind. You're relying on your own own inner voice to kinda push you forward. And, you know, you're observing that that thing that happens with fathers and sons where there's mentorship, there's guidance, but you're not getting it yourself. Right?

You're just observing it. And I think in many ways, that's that's why I joined the Marine Corps. Showing up at Parris Island was honestly the first time when I had real male guidance in my life. And, you know, I'm thankful to the Marine Corps to this day for for providing that to me. And that was great while it lasted.

When I got out, you know, I was still a young man like many of you, and I didn't have anybody there to kinda tell me what I should be doing or what I should be focusing on. And when you don't have somebody there and and when things aren't entirely going your way and when you're feeling pain and you're feeling hurt and you feel like nothing's working out, that can turn you into a nonconfident individual. And as as Jordan Peterson says, it can also turn you into a very cruel individual. And and I was cruel. I was not a nice person for a long time.

And so, you know, having this show and having put it together and having reached out to to so many veterans out there, I get a lot of questions about that feeling, that that feeling of lack of confidence, that that feeling like you don't know what you should be doing, where you should be going, you know, where you're gonna end up. Right? Because human beings always wanna know that. They wanna know where they're gonna end up. They wanna have some confidence that the path that they're on is gonna lead them somewhere.

And I think that's the thing. Right? We're we all don't know. Right? There's a lot of us, you know, we've gone through all these transitions.

And when you go through a major transition like that, there's there there is no certainty of where you're gonna end up, who you're gonna be, what you're gonna create, what kind of mark you're gonna leave on this earth. You know, we all want a chance to to raise a family, to do great things, to to to to feel love. And when you lack those things or when you don't feel like you're getting those things, it can it can really, really put a damper on on your confidence and also your ability to to be a good human being. And what I wanna say to you is this. Confidence isn't just gonna show up.

Right? A path isn't just gonna show up. You know, a a plan isn't just gonna formulate in your head. The only way it happens is when you go out and you start doing difficult things again. Right?

Think about that. When you showed up for basic training or for boot camp or or for your first day of of your job, what happened was there was a path that was laid out for you because you made the decision to go out and to do something difficult, to do something hard. Right? If you're if you decide that you're going to to train for an MMA fight, there's a path that's laid out in front of you so that you don't get your ass kicked. Right?

You you know you gotta train every day. You know that that you gotta practice your technique. You know you gotta do your conditioning. And if not, on the day of the fight, you are going to get crushed. And I think that the key to generating confidence doesn't come from from some affirmation that you repeat to yourself every morning, though that that could help.

It doesn't come from a lot of these self help techniques that that people are constantly telling you to do. It comes from actively going out there and doing things. You know, we're at a time and a place in our culture where everything is is up for question. Right? The value of the American family.

Right? The the the the entire system itself, the entire country itself is up for a question. Right? And a lot of us have never been put in that position. Right?

And I think that for us to survive, for us to to to be who we're supposed to be, we need to actively say, you know what? I am gonna take the responsibility. Now that doesn't mean, like, running for president or anything like that. But what it does mean is is stepping up in your life. Rather than looking at your job and and seeing as it is some meaningless venture that's torturing you every day, try to see the virtue in it.

Try to see how you can change things at your job. Try to see how you could be the best that you could possibly be at your job, the job you have right now, not a job that you're going out and and trying to find, not some dream position that you're going to try to create. Try to see how you can become better at the work you're doing right now. And and you'll find meaning in it. And when you do that, the funny thing is things open up.

There becomes more possibilities. Right? If you learn how to cooperate with others, if you learn how to work with others, if you learn how to formulate teams, all the things we were taught in the military, if you actively put that to practice, then you are gonna see some results. And, you know, I hear from a lot of guys who say, you know what, try to act like I did in the Marine Corps. I try to try to lead people.

I try to do things that that that I used to do, and and people get scared off by it. Well, that just means that you might need to change your technique. Right? Rather than than ordering people or or raising your voice or anything like that, which, by the way, when I served in the infantry, I I wasn't really like that. That that that was something that wasn't a leadership technique that actively ever really worked for me.

Right? I remember having to switch things up because people wanted me to raise my voice, wanted me to scream, wanted me to yell, but marines are smart. Right? Yeah. I alright.

Bring on the crayon eater jokes, but but they're smart. They know that if you're raising your voice, if you are trying to get all drill instructor ish, that means you're falling back on something because you're not confident in your own leadership ability. Right? Really think about this, guys. Think about the the the face you're putting forward to the world on a daily basis.

What does that face look like? Are you somebody that somebody else would want on their team? Are you somebody that somebody else would want leading their team? And if not, then why not? What do you have to change?

What do you have to do? What do you have to work on? That it's it's all there. It's all in front of you. You're just not thinking of it.

You're not you're not visualizing it. Right? Because you're blind. And the reason you're blind is because your lack of confidence is blinding you. And the only way to gain that confidence is to do things that are gonna build it, to create things, to take a risk.

And until you do that, you can be in the same place over and over again. I don't want you to wake up a year from now and be in the same position. I don't know you. Right? We we probably come from very different places.

You probably have a very different background from mine. But if you're listening to this show, it means something is attracted to you to this show. It might be the fact that you're a fellow marine or a fellow warfighter. Right? You might have served in the army, the air force, the navy.

Regardless, it doesn't make a difference to me. You're still my brother or my sister. You might be black. You might be white. You might be Latino.

You might be from a completely different set of of backgrounds and races, and and you might be from a different country. But something about you is attracting you to listening to me right now. And because of that, you know, we're in this together. And I want you to wake up a year from now to a much better life, a life where you feel confidence. And maybe not everything is set out because you don't want everything to be set out in your life.

You don't want everything to be solid. Right? If if if you did, then life wouldn't just wouldn't be interesting. But I want you to at least be in the fight. I want you ready.

I want you to show up on fight day and to give the other guy a freaking hell of a fight. I want you to take him within one inch of his life. And if you lose, I at least want you to learn something from it. So hope that helps, guys. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future, about where we are, about, you know, what's going on in this world.

And I've been going through a lot of transitions myself, as you know. So just put my thoughts out there. A lot of times, I I said this on Instagram, I feel like I'm rambling. But I guess the people who get it are gonna get it. And the people who don't will stop listening, and that's okay too.

So I love you all. Get out there and live your best life while you can. This is Chris Albert, and I am out.