Podcast episode

Stopping Self Sabotage and Raising Self Confidence with Chris and Albert

Hosted by Chris Albert

The Warrior Soul Podcast

In this episode, Chris and Albert discuss how they've dealt with past trauma to boost self-confidence and come out of their shells

Chris Albert Palmitessa and Albert Carrasco discuss measures they've taken to deal with past trauma, raise their self confidence, and present their authentic selves to those around thenm.

Transcript~31 min · Chris Albert & Albert Carrasco

Machine-generated from the episode audio and lightly edited — may contain errors.

Chris Albert

What is going on, everybody? Welcome to the Warrior Soul podcast. My name is Chris Albert Palmitessa. I am joined today by my good friend, Carrasco, and we are entering kind of a new phase for the Warrior Soul podcast and the Warrior Soul brand as a whole. We're gonna be switching things up over here on the show, and you're gonna be seeing some really new and awesome things from the brand as a whole.

Albert, man, welcome to the show, brother.

Albert Carrasco

Thanks, Chris. It's good to be on again.

Chris Albert

Yeah, man. It's been a bit. Right? It's been a bit.

Albert Carrasco

I think the last time I did an episode with you was, like, 2018 or '19, man. It's been a while.

Chris Albert

Yeah, man. What what were we talking about the last time?

Albert Carrasco

Honestly, I think since I've just been production most of the time that we've worked together, I think that you were just kinda, like, get me out of my shell because I I've been so in my shell for so long.

Chris Albert

Yeah. So for those of you who don't know, Albert is the man responsible for anything clothing to do with Warrior Soul. Right? Like, he he's been with me from the beginning. We've been partners on this from the beginning.

He's he's created numerous designs for us. He's the guy who actually mans the the printing and and directs the the the people who print. Bye, Tracy. Have a good weekend. The he's he's the guy who takes care of all of this stuff.

And, you know, I've known Albert since he's been pretty much almost a teenager, you know, back when he was working in the veteran's office at UCSB. And, you know, we we kinda got together after we both left and and wanted to create this thing called Warrior Soul, and and here we are, you know, eight years later, I think. It's been a long time. It's been a long road.

Albert Carrasco

Yeah. We met we met in 2010 because that was that was my senior year. I had just gotten back from OCS, and, you know, you you came in one day, you're like, hey, I need to certify my benefits because that's what I was doing. Right? The GI bill stuff.

And I was like, who the fuck is this guy? This guy's huge. Like, just like you're just like such a tank. I I was like, I like that guy. And then we ended up working together years later, so it's pretty rad.

Chris Albert

Yeah. That's when I was I was when I was competing in bodybuilding. I was that's when I was first competing in bodybuilding up in Santa Barbara, and then eventually moved to LA and got bigger. And now I'm, like, half the size I used to be. So it's awesome.

There's waves

Albert Carrasco

there's waves of body transformation.

Chris Albert

Yeah, man. All kinds of different ways. All all all kinds of different ways. But you've been working on some cool stuff, man. So, you know, we've we've been brewing on this Warrior Soul Youth Academy for a bit.

Let let's talk a little bit about that. Let's remind people what that what that was and and what you've been working on there.

Albert Carrasco

Well okay. So I've obviously been screen printing forever, like, just the Warrior Soul stuff, but I was screen printing for companies. That's how I made most of my money. You know, somebody just brought me something and I did it. You know, I I was even partnered with Special Olympics Southern California at one point. I did all their merch.

Like, I printed and shipped all over The US. It was cool. And it was, like, twenty twenty fourteen or so that I was like, you know what? I I should do something to help. Like, just out of nowhere one day, I thought, like, you know, I grew up in a really rough place and I should use something to give back.

But at the time, I was still so removed from my prior experience because, to be honest, I wanted to believe that most of my childhood high school days never happened. And so I decided it's time to do something. But again, it wasn't like really embodying what that was. So I started working with a nonprofit called Youth Interactive. And what I did there is actually taught a t shirt design class.

It's like, This is a this is a way to help. I'll just teach these high school kids design t shirts. And then that turned into, you know, teaching at the boys camp, which is like an extension of juvenile hall here in Santa Barbara.

Albert Carrasco

And I realized like, okay, I wanna do more. And I kept doing more. And then eventually, you know, without doing a play by play, COVID hit and it shut everything down. And including my company. Right?

Like, we did like because most people that were printing t shirts didn't need anything during COVID. That was a pretty, hurtful thing for my industry. And that's when I like kinda went inward and I started thinking like, okay, wait, what have you been doing the last x amount of years? Are you actually happy with that? And it was like, I had an epiphany where I was thinking, you know what?

I've been wanting to have my own youth program. Like I knew that from the beginning. It's why I started volunteering and eventually getting paid as a mentor when the nonprofits had more funding. And I decided it's time I can make something of my own. So that's when I came up with the idea of Warrior Soul Youth Academy.

And I remember I called you because I thought, I don't know what I'm gonna call it, but it would be cool to keep it within brand. But I it's funny because even though I know it's an awesome idea for some reason, because again, right, I'm in my shell, a part of me thought like, oh, Chris might not wanna do it. And you've been nothing but supportive the whole time. That's like, why did I even think that? Like, would say no.

And, you know, you and I had similar upbringings too. So I know that the whole idea hits home for you too. And in fact, the more I learn about myself, the more I like recognize how similar people are to us, including most people who served in the military had some type of Right. Upbringing. You know, I see it.

I saw it in everybody that was there. We were all going through our probably not trying to curse for the YouTube. Right? But also going through our stuff.

Albert Carrasco

So yeah.

Chris Albert

Go ahead. No, man. Like, I mean, I think about that a lot because, you know, we all I don't know anybody who's had an easy life, honestly. You know? I I mean, there's definitely people out there who've had it easier than others, but everybody has their stuff.

And, you know, one of the things I think about is, like, the worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Right? Like like, everybody's experience is compartmentalized in their lives, and people face different different levels of trauma. Some people can handle things more than others. Yep.

Yep. One of the things we tend to do in our community is and I'm talking about the veterans community, is is we stick things in a rucksack, and we just carry them around with us. And we keep going, and we don't think about them. And a lot of times, things that happened when we were kids, not even to do with military service, but things that happened prior to us getting in the military, We think that by going in the military, we're gonna be able to get away from them. But guess what?

You know, four years, six years, even twenty years is not a long time. And when you get out and you you, you know, you you you get discharged, a lot of times those things are just waiting for you right where they were. You know? And and and you come back to your town, and the same people are there. The same problems are there.

You know? And and even I I didn't realize this until I left my hometown for a long time, and then I came back. And I start I went back for a little bit, and I felt the same exact things that I felt when I was 12, 13, 14 years old. And, you know, I think the message here is this. If growth has to happen from within.

Right? Like, you have to you you you can't just expect your problems to go away by by by leaving and then coming back. You have to work on yourself. You eventually have to face those demons that that that that you're trying that you were trying to get away from as a kid, and you've gotta do the work necessary to try to overcome them. You know?

Albert Carrasco

Yeah. Yeah. And just to really drive that point home is that a lot of us, including myself, will say, well, it's not that bad. I can handle my stuff. I got this.

I don't need to talk about this. But guess what? Ask the people closest to you how much they have to forgive you and how much that they can't bring up to you because you'll get annoyed or mad or this or you'll just disappear. And dude, the people closest to you end up paying for it, you know, and it sucks. And and it's it took me a lot of work to get to hear it, including, like, you know this, dude.

You've known me for a long time. When have I ever been able to communicate like this?

Chris Albert

No. No. You're you're you're actually I'm actually surprised because, you know, even in our phone conversations a lot of times, you know, nobody else would be listening. We're not, like, recording podcasts. We're just talking business.

And it would seem like he wanted to hide behind, like, a bookshelf or something like that. And, you know, I've I've I've noticed that about you. And I think, like, you know, one of the things they you're such a good person. Right? You got a good soul.

You've always been a kind person. You've always been a really hardworking person. You started your own business. You know, you got into bodybuilding. You built your you built yourself up from from being being a skinny triathlete to to being a bodybuilder and all this stuff like that.

And, like, you know, now you're getting into to a bunch of other things, but, like, you know, I I I identify with that because, you know, for me, bodybuilding was a mask. Right? Like, it was something I was hiding behind. I was I was building that physique up because I didn't like didn't like myself that much. Now that's not to say that there's anything negative about bodybuilding or that all bodybuilders are insecure.

I was insecure. I was trying to run away from something by building up that physique. I was trying to solve problems that couldn't be solved that way. And, you know, again, those problems just came back. But, like, one of the things I I I realized about you is that that you've been really working on you.

You've been really working on on being able to communicate. You've been really working on being able to to to put yourself out there. And, you know, I would just wanna give you kudos for that, man. That's awesome.

Albert Carrasco

Thanks, man. And, honestly, that means a lot. Because even in years past hearing that from you, like a part of you would be like, oh, nah, it's cool, like, or I would downplay it. And in my own brain, I would be like rejecting the acknowledgment. You know what I mean?

And that's a thing that I picked up as a child because like, it was almost like if I allow myself to celebrate, then like that's not sustainable, you know, or anything like living in celebration is not sustainable. I don't wanna do that because it makes me feel unsafe. And lately that's something else I've been working on is like, you know what? Yeah. I have to acknowledge the wins and like, dude, I have turned my life around a lot.

So thank you. And you're someone that I looked up to I still look up to, like, for so long. So it's pretty amazing to hear that. So thank you. Which actually brings it to why, because it's about going on two years.

It's been about a year and a half. No. No. Sorry. In in December 2020 is when I really started to, like, talk about Warrior Soul openly, like the youth program.

And I feel like this is important to say because I haven't actually said this in any public way at all. But I got a lot of support from people initially and I was really happy about that. Like, I raised like just under $10 or something like in the first month or month and a half. Was like, okay, cool. People really like this idea.

Albert Carrasco

And what happened, though, I was still on Facebook at the time. I'm not on Facebook anymore. But there were people who I went to high school with, middle school with that I was friends with, that I wasn't actually friends with anymore, but, like, I still kept the connection for whatever stupid reason, like, like, you have to. Right? No.

You don't. And some of them said things to me like, I didn't know you were going through a hard time in middle school. Like, you seemed fine. And I'm and in my head, I felt like, you were kind of a dick to me sometimes, like, or didn't. Of course, you didn't think I was going through anything.

Albert Carrasco

You know I mean? Or like like, I had things like people were like, suggested almost like if I was lying or exaggerating or this. I'm like, that's why I deleted my Facebook for a bit because I like, dude, hold on a minute. First of all, these people don't matter. Second of all, I wanna help kids so that they don't end up the way that I did because I'm gonna be 33 this year And I got lost.

Like, I literally ran away from home, joined the Marine Corps, and, you know, with this dream that somebody would be coming down. Funny story. Right?

Albert Carrasco

And that didn't happen. And so my adult life, I felt like, yeah, the screen printing making apparel was like my anchor, but I was pretty lost trying to figure it out. And so that's why I like paused everything. And I realized even though I came out with this idea and told people about it, I was still not standing in it firmly enough to really run with it. So that's when I was like, okay, I need to silence everything around me and I need to know why am I afraid to run with this.

And Yeah. So I feel like I figured that out. It took me a little longer than I thought. But, you know, like in the conversations we've had, dude, I'm so ready. Like, this is amazing.

Chris Albert

Why why do you think we do that? Because I do that too. Right? Like, whenever I'm doing something or whenever I'm working on something big, I'm the type of person who, like, I'll try to avoid talking about it. Or, like like if if I'm with somebody and somebody brings up like, hey, this is Chris.

You know, he he he runs Warrior Soul. He does this. I'll always, like, pan back a little bit or I'll like, I'll feel like I want to hide. You know what I mean? And like, I feel like impostor syndrome is like a strong thing amongst us.

You know? Like, I feel like a lot of times, particularly like if you come from nothing and you're trying to build something up, there's so many of us who feel like we don't deserve it. Like, you know, why us? Why do we get to do this when when other people don't? And the answer is, you know, we get to do this because we've tried.

We came up with the idea. We're we're we're we're we're putting in the work. Right? But that's not what goes on in our heads, and I think we constantly self sabotage ourselves. And for those of you at home listening to this, you know, think about how you're potentially sabotaging yourself by by, you know, undercutting yourself, undercutting your thoughts, whenever you're trying to do something good, you know, trying to hide away behind humility.

And I think humility is a great thing. Like, I I I think humility is one of my prized traits in a person, but humility can also be a bad thing because it keeps you from showing your light to the world, and it keeps you from from, you know, showing your strength. And sometimes you do need to show you do need to show your strength. Like, you really do. And if you're not doing that, then then you're undervaluing undervaluing yourself and keeping yourself from from potentially being in a position to do great things.

Albert Carrasco

Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, that's actually really important because there are no two people on this planet that have had the same experience. And even even within siblings, right, my brother and I grew up in the same house, but we're a year and a half apart. And because we're a year and a half apart, a lot of things changed.

So his experience is very different than mine. So what I the reason I bring that up is this. We all have a unique perspective that is truly unique. And with that comes the gifts, the light that we get to bring to the world.

Albert Carrasco

So it is a disservice to not share what you have learned in your time on earth and through everything that happened to you for better or worse because we all have the tools we need to make this place better. Right? Like, we get to pick. This really crappy thing happened to me, and that cycle ends with me. I'm not going to project that further.

And so, yeah, you gotta be willing to share those gifts. And as far as, like, why do we show up, right, and why do we like pause and do that? Like, I think when you've been through a lot of adversity and, you know, you're kind of your mind becomes a battleground, Honestly, the way that I kind of started to see it is like you're renegotiating with yourself. Whether you're aware of it or not, you are renegotiating. Hey, am I gonna go all in on this or not?

That's how you have some people who will try things and they realize, you know what, actually, I don't wanna go all in on this, and they'll bail. And this is again where emotional honesty becomes very crucial. So you ask somebody, hey, why didn't you do that? And they'll be like, oh, it wasn't for me. Okay.

No. No. No. Let's own that a little more. What wasn't for you?

And then if you dig deep enough, you find out it's not that it wasn't for you. It's one, you didn't actually care. Two, you were doing it for the wrong reasons, right, trying to impress somebody that you don't even care about their opinion anymore, this or that. Or it it had a steep learning curve and you were not willing to put in the time to learn it.

Chris Albert

Big time. Yeah.

Albert Carrasco

Right? So instead of saying, oh, I can't, you know, just say you don't want to and don't and don't give it the energy. But again, right? Renegotiation within itself. Am I gonna go all in on this or not?

And that takes time. And for me, well, like I said, took about a year and a half to be like, dude, I cannot care what is going on out here.

Chris Albert

Like Right.

Albert Carrasco

Just what's gonna happen? Okay. And then the next day, are you sure still? Yes. I'm sure.

And then finally, like, alright. I got this.

Chris Albert

That's been a huge thing for me, like, this past year because, like, I as you know, I've gotten into stand up comedy. I've been doing comedy sets around South Florida.

Albert Carrasco

How long did you renegotiate that before you ran with it?

Chris Albert

To be honest with you, it's one of the few things I've ever dove into and just kinda, like, took off with. Right? Because, like like, immediately jumped into writing and then performing at as many open mics as I possibly could and then, like, trying to trying to do that. But where the renegotiation is occurring is because, like, obviously, I'm I'm pretty different from most of the stand up comedians around here. I'm not saying they're bad people.

I'm not saying I'm better or worse than them. I'm just different. Right? And and and in my mind, like, every time I walk into a place, these people are looking at me like, who the fuck is this guy? Like, that kind of thing.

Like and so in my mind, like, what I'm doing is, like, I'm separating myself from them and, like, just being like, these people don't like me. They don't want me around here. They're never gonna give me a chance and kinda setting myself up for that eventual, you know, disappointment and things like that. And what I've really had to do is I've had to, like, open myself up a bit more to to get around that, like, and start, like, just talking with people. Now, obviously, like, there's some people who are gonna like you and some people who aren't.

Like, no big deal. Like, if you don't like me, fine. If you like me, awesome. We'll have a great conversation. But, like, I've been consciously making an effort to, like, talk with as many of them as possible and, like, get to know them because what I've discovered being in business and and and a lot of the other things I've life is a lot easier if people like you.

Like, you don't necessarily have to have a stake in whether people like you or not, but, like, it's it's just easier if they do. And and so what I've been trying to do is I've been trying to, like, keep my mind from, like, automatically being standoffish to, like, you know, being more open and communicative.

Albert Carrasco

Yeah. So I think what stands out to me about that topic has to do with something that I had it was part of my, you know, internal dialogue. And it is I have to show up as my most authentic self everywhere I go and in everything that I do. Mhmm. Because if I'm not, then people are actually liking the idea of

Albert Carrasco

If I behave this way around these people, and this way around these people, and this way around these people, then I'm actually fragmenting myself.

Albert Carrasco

And and I'm where and I'm choosing to change masks depending on what group I'm with. I promise you that the way I'm talking on this podcast right now is how I talk all the time. Like, I I just I am who I am. I'm pretty goofy now too, by way. I, mess around.

Like, I stopped taking life so seriously. I'm like Yeah. It's just so much better and so much lighter. But then, like, if you show up as who you really are, like, who you really want to be, then the people who like you are gonna be like, I love this guy. He Yeah.

All of these things.

Chris Albert

Yeah. And and the people who don't, to be honest, they're usually,

Albert Carrasco

like, triggered by your your presence, right, whoever it is. And it's like, there's something about that person I don't like, and it could be one of two reasons. One, it's a part of myself that I don't like about myself. Or two, it's something that they are owning that I know is within me that I can't own yet. Yeah.

Which one is it? Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. In fact, when people don't like you, it's even better because now you don't have to waste your time with them.

Chris Albert

What you're touching on is a big reason why relationships fail as well because what guys tend to do at the beginning of a relationship is they try to do things to impress a girl, to, like, they act a certain way that that's, like, different than than how they normally act. And then, you know

Albert Carrasco

Six months later, they're comfortable and like, I don't have to open doors for you anymore. Like, well, I really like that. Nah. It wasn't me, though. Yeah.

Yeah.

Chris Albert

No. Exactly. And and the girls do it too. You know what I mean? And if you're a girl listening to this, I think girls actually have as much or more of a problem with this than guys.

And I think, like, it's a big mistake. And the reason why girls do this is because they're taught to, like, be more passive. They're taught to, like, you know, kinda, like, hide themselves a little bit more. And I think it's really important that if you're stepping into a relationship, you're showing your authentic self because otherwise, you know, three years from now, you could wake up married to a person that you probably never should have been with in the first place. You know?

Albert Carrasco

And, you know, it's funny on that because I'll I'll be on here right now and tell you that every girlfriend I've had before or even like girls I was getting to know that I never like fully dated. You know, I didn't really stand in my authenticity. So I put on a show and you know, sorry ladies, I messed up. Not done that, but I didn't know it at the time.

Chris Albert

One of the things oh, keep going. I'm sorry, man.

Albert Carrasco

No. I'm just saying I know now. So that's why, like, when I'm meeting somebody lately, like, again, I'm doing them and myself a disservice if I'm not being exactly the way that I want to be.

Chris Albert

Right. Right. One of the things I wanna bring up here too, though, and I think this is a big difficulty for guys coming back from deployments, is that your authentic self like, so this is a question for you. If somebody coming back from a deployment, right, they haven't been around their friends or family for six months to a year. They haven't been around their significant other for six months to a year.

I think in that process, over a year, a lot of people change. One of the problems I see happening with with guys that come back is they feel like they can't be them true their true selves back here in the civilian world. And to some extent, then I have to say that's absolutely true. You can't be the person who you were on deployment back here in the civilian world. It's like, it's it's gonna be two different things.

I think you can adapt them, but, like, I think there's gotta be a a a process of remembering who you were beforehand and and remembering who you are underneath all those things that happened while you're on deployment. Right?

Albert Carrasco

Yeah. Exactly. And my coworker is just waving at me. So, honestly, I got goosebumps when you were saying that because I I was thinking about that. And, you know, I talked about fragmenting the self earlier.

Right? And, dude, anybody who served in the military, especially someone who deployed, you have to go somewhere and you have to almost create this alter ego to keep yourself safe. Mhmm. Because you cannot go to a combat deployment and maintain your childlike innocence there because guess what? Well, you're you're in combat.

Albert Carrasco

You're in a a place of danger. And if you're there with your childlike innocence and playful self, there's a chance that, well, you can't survive like that. So when you come home, you have to remember that you're home. You have to come home because and now it's again, right, going into the renegotiation. And and depending on how tightly you embrace this identity you created to keep yourself safe on deployment, that's where it might be tough.

And some guys, like, you know, they end up deciding, no, don't like I don't like the old me. That was weak. That was this. That was that. And, you know, that's not true.

I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and say that that process is easy because it's not. It definitely requires assistance. And, you know, that's why I think it's important to talk about things like this. But at the end of the day, like, there are a lot of people in your life that love you, and sometimes when you create that alter ego, like, you forget or you don't want to. Because, know, maybe you even think, like, if I let go of this alter ego, then I feel unsafe now.

Albert Carrasco

But again, like, you're home now. And and if anything, this alter ego is a tool that you created because it's still there. It's never gonna go away. Right? It's it's ultimately still gonna be there.

And I don't know if there's, like, some psychology people in the audience that are listening. Maybe we can have them on and come talk about this deeper.

Chris Albert

It's it's a really tough question to answer, and it's not a question we're gonna be able to answer here. Right? Yeah. Like because, like, I don't think either of us are purporting to think we know all the answers, but I think you touched on something important there is that a lot of things we do are tools that we use to cope or tools that we use to survive. They helped us survive at one point in our lives, but they're not necessarily serving us anymore.

One of the great challenges of life is parsing those things out from who you really are. And I think that's that's such an important thing to think about. You know? But I know we're we're we're touching on time here. I just wanted to you know, we're gonna keep touching on on these subjects as we move along.

You know, Albert's gonna be be joining us in in in our future episodes and things like that, and that's basically how we're changing the format of the show. Up to this point, I've been running the podcast, and I've been interviewing people, and I've been here. But, like, I wanna bring Albert in more and more to to to talk about these things. I wanna I wanna make this more of a team effort, and and I want you guys to understand that Warrior Soul is much bigger than me. It's much bigger than me and Albert.

It's it's much bigger than than than, anything we've done thus far, and we're looking to develop things so that, you know, we're we're building resources for you guys. We're building awesome clothing that you guys are gonna love that's gonna have a message that absolutely means something, and making this this podcast a tool for you to live your best lives, which is what this podcast has always been supposed to be about. It hasn't it was never supposed to be about me interviewing super important people, although some of those interviews have been awesome. You know, it's never been about clout status or anything like that. It's about been about show helping this community to live their absolute best lives and helping us to improve the country and the world through that.

So so I just wanted to touch on that. Do you got anything to touch on before we go, Albert?

Albert Carrasco

No. Honestly, I guess I shouldn't have said no because I do have something. I'm just gonna say that I'm really excited that we're doing this, you know, relaunching everything. I just I'm really proud to be here with you on this, Yaron. So I'm excited.

And thank you for everybody that's listening. And I hope that our message who to whoever resonates, you know, that it really helps you guys out and we're just wishing you all the best in your own journeys.

Chris Albert

Absolutely. Absolutely. This is gonna be awesome. Well, we'll be back at you next week with some more awesome discussion. We've got a lot of awesome things for you on the cooker.

And with that, you know, this is Chris Albert Palmitessa and Albert Carrasco. You guys get out there and live your best lives while you can, and we are out.

Chris Albert

Host of the Warrior Soul Podcast and founder of Warrior Soul. Worldwide trainer and nutrition coach, contributing author at Testosterone Nation and Muscle and Strength.

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