Victim mode is so destructive because it keeps you from realizing the control you have in your own life.
Far too many people are stuck in victim mode and the “to me” mindset.
In this mindset, you’re thinking everything in the world happens “to me.” This mindset is so damaging because it takes all of your own agency out of the situation, and it puts you into a state of being where you do not believe you have control over anything.
The key to getting out of victim mode is to start seeing that the world is happening “for you” rather than “to you.” Everything, good, bad, and difficult, is there to help you to grow into the person you’re supposed to become.
Transcript
Machine-generated from the episode audio and lightly edited — may contain errors.
Chris Albert (link to this point)
The Warrior Soul podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Chris Albert. Our mission is to provide tools, tactics, strategies, and ideas that help The US military veteran community to show up as the wisest, strongest, most capable versions of themselves in the civilian world. If you're not a veteran, stick around because anything we talk about will most certainly apply to you as well. This podcast is made possible with the help of F Bomb Nutrition. They make delicious packets of fats that you can carry around anywhere with you in little portable packets.
They make macadamia nut butters. They mix them up with chocolate. They mix them up with sea salt. They mix them up with coconut butter. They're absolutely delicious, and they're really good for you.
They don't have any sugar. They also make a lot of cheese snacks. They make meat sticks, and it's just a great company. These guys send packages of this stuff to the troops who are on the front lines overseas to supplement their MREs, and we didn't ask them to do that. They just did that on their own initiative.
Really great company. If you wanna get 20% off your first order of f bombs, head over to www.dropanfbomb.com and use the code Warrior Soul at checkout. This podcast is also brought to you with the help of Save the Brave. Savethebrave.org is a five zero one c three charity for veterans. They run camaraderie events that include fishing, golfing.
They also do a lot of work with gold star families. And unlike a lot of other organizations, their board doesn't take a salary. Really great organization that is doing amazing work. So go and check them out at savethebrave.org. With that, thank you guys so much.
Let's get into today's programming.
This is Chris Albert, and I'm here to remind you of one thing. Someday, you're going to die. Now that's not some morbid statement or scary idea. It's solid fact. Your time here on this earth is limited.
And we need to be reminded of this as much as possible for one simple reason, to live your best life while you can. This is the Warrior Soul podcast.
One thing you have to realize about life is that no matter who you are, you are going to face tragedy, you are going to face hard times, you are going to face difficulty, you are going to face obstacles in your life. Those obstacles, at times, are going to really seem insurmountable. You are going to be in a position at different points in your life where you're going to think, how can I ever get out of this situation? When you're in that type of situation, you have one of two choices to make. The first choice is this, you start to flip out.
You start to look at the world around you. You start to curse it. You start to raise your fists up to the sky, and you say to yourself, why do things like this always happen to me? Why do things like this always happen to me? And it's those last two words that are the thing that is creating the wall around you, that insurmountable obstacle, the to me mindset.
When you think in terms of to me, you are thinking in terms of the idea that you have no control over your state of being, that you have no control over your mind. You are basically giving up any sense of agency that you have in your own situation. When you think in the to me mindset, you're going to blame other people, you're going to blame society, you're going to blame the government, you're going to blame Earth, nature, God. Whatever it is that you can, that's what you were going to do. And, essentially, that mindset blinds you.
It keeps you from seeing the things that you can do to get out of the situation you're in, the things that you do have control over. The other mindset, when you do a little bit of work on yourself, is to realize that everything isn't happening to you. Everything is happening for you. Even the horrible, bad things that happen in your life. And what do I mean by happening for you?
Well, when you get an obstacle placed in your life, when you get a problem placed in your life, it's always a chance to grow. It's always a chance to better yourself, to go out there to gain some skills that you can learn to try to overcome that obstacle. And it's an opportunity to take a journey, a journey that is going to allow you to be in a position to do great things in this life. One of the things that I've been focusing on this year in 2020 is reading the biographies of great men. So far, I've read biographies about Ralph Lauren, Abraham Lincoln, John D. Rockefeller, Theodore Roosevelt.
I'm reading one about Howard Hughes right now. I read a book about the civil war. And every one of those books outlines the obstacles that these people faced in their lives. Nobody just bestowed upon them the status of, hey, you're going to be great. Abraham Lincoln was one of the weirdest and most socially awkward people to ever exist in our government.
He wasn't somebody who was spit and polished. People would talk about him as looking disheveled. People said he was a homely, ugly person. Right? But through the force of his will, his dedication and hard work, he had no formal education.
He became a lawyer and eventually rose through the ranks and eventually became president of The United States. And not only president of The United States, one of the greatest presidents of The United States in our history, Somebody who kept the union together through one of this country's darkest times. Same thing with Theodore Roosevelt. He was born to a family that had lots of money, but he was a sickly child. He was somebody who was wracked with asthma, wracked with all kinds of illnesses.
People didn't think he was going to make it at times. But his father said to him, Hey, Theodore, if you want to be a great man, you've got to build your body. And that's when he started dedicating himself to exercise, and he's known for being one of our heartiest presidents, somebody who was extremely physical, who practiced jujitsu and judo and and who went out and hunted and and was great at gymnastics and wrestling and all kinds of different things, and is also known as one of the greatest presidents of The United States. The reason I'm telling you all of this is because no matter where you're at right now in your life, no matter what is going on in your life, there is an opportunity in front of you, and that opportunity is to choose to be great, to choose to be the person that you need to be to overcome those obstacles, and to choose the person that you need to be to make an impact on this earth. That's what this podcast is about.
It's not about just getting you to survive. It's not about just getting you to get through the next day. We'll help you with that, but what we're looking to do is to help veterans to take the rightful place in this society as leaders. That's what you should be. That's what you've been trained for, and that's what we frankly need you for in this country right now.
Because without it, we're gonna go down some really dark paths. This is Chris Albert with the Warrior Soul podcast. This has been a Warrior Notes episode. We'll be back at you later this week with some more awesome content. Get out there.
Live your best life while you can, and I am out.
Host of the Warrior Soul Podcast and founder of Warrior Soul. Worldwide trainer and nutrition coach, contributing author at Testosterone Nation and Muscle and Strength.
