How to Maintain Friendships and Be More Social

Chris Albert 00:00:00 (link to this point)

This is Chris Albert, and I'm here to remind you of one thing. Someday, you're going to die. Now that's not some morbid statement or scary idea. It's solid fact. Your time here on this earth is limited.

You need to be reminded of this as much as possible for one simple reason, to live your best life while you can. This is the Warrior Soul Podcast.

You know, one of the things that tends to happen to us as we get older is that we kind of shed a lot of our old ties. We shed a lot of those friendships that we had in our youth. Because when you're younger, socialization is almost institutionalized. You've got to make friends at school. You've got to you get opportunities to make friends with other people at literally get during sports, you know, and and during a lot of the other clubs we we take part in when we're younger.

When you're in the Marine Corps or any other military service, you're you're constantly around people. So that creates opportunities to form relationships with others. But as we get older, we develop our romantic relationships. We we get married, and we tend to put everything we have into them. You know, constantly trying to to just nurture that one relationship while, worrying about everything else we got to worry about in life, putting food on the table, paying the rent.

And what happens is that as we get older, we all kind of become islands. Right? We're we're unto ourselves, and there isn't really those opportunities for socialization anymore. And because of that, we tend to lose our band of brothers, we tend to lose our inner circle, and we get further away from having people around us who can help us, who can be our champions, who can help us through the hard times. And so one of the things I want to cover today are ways that you can ensure that your romantic relationship isn't the only relationship that you have.

Because if you think about it, that's a very big mistake. So many people put everything they have into their relationships. But what happens if you end up going through something that that only a friend could understand? What happens if you get a divorce? What happens if you go through a breakup?

So many people when they go through these types of events, they find themselves almost on a desert island without any help. And so it's so important that we continue to seek to maintain good relationships and to keep good people around us that can toss us a lifeline when we do get in trouble. So, what can you do? And a lot of this stuff is really simple. And I want to say first and foremost that these ideas don't come from me.

I'm not an expert on this stuff. These are just things that I picked up along my travels that were thought up by other people. The first one comes from Jordan Harbinger. Now, he's formerly of The Art of Charm, but now he has his own show. It's called the Jordan Harbinger Show.

And he's really an expert at human dynamics, and he's got a free course that he puts out. It's called Advanced Human Dynamics. I'll put the the link up on the the show notes for this episode, but he's got a really simple technique that he uses to stay in touch with people. And what he'll do is when he's got three or four minutes, he'll pick up his cell phone and he'll scroll scroll to the bottom of his text messages. And generally, what will be there is an old text to somebody.

Maybe it's somebody he met at a conference. Maybe it's an old friend that he hadn't talked to in a while. But he'll go into his text message and he'll send a text over to them saying, hey, you know what? I was just thinking about you because I was reading this, and I wanted to reach out to you just to see how you're doing. No need to answer back right now, but let's hop on a call sometime to touch base.

It's a really simple thing. Now a lot of the time people won't answer right away, and it's really important that you include that little piece about not needing to answer right back right now, because otherwise people might be working and they don't want to get into a text conversation right away. But a lot of the time, you know, later in the day, they'll answer back and say, hey, what's going on, man? Haven't talked to you in a while. Glad you were thinking about me.

Definitely, let's hop on a call. And it's just a great opportunity to keep those relationships fresh. It's a small habit, something that'll take you like three minutes. And the thing about Jordan is that recently, the reason why he's not at the Art of Charm anymore is because his business partners basically kicked him out of the business. And when he found himself into that in that position, had he not put a lot of time into building his network, he wouldn't have been able to build the Jordan Harbingers show so quickly into a top 100 podcast, and it's it's right up there on the charts right now.

And he was able to do that by reaching out to his network and keeping his network relationships fresh when he didn't need anything whatsoever. Because if you're just reaching out to people when you need something, you're not adding any value to their lives, you're not checking up on them, people don't want to be caught in contact with a person like that. Right? You don't want to be in contact with a person who just calls you up whenever you need something. It's it's really important to to build those relationships before you ever need anything.

And so that's a really simple technique that you can use in order to do that. Another one I picked up is from one of our past guests, Steve Sims, and he's the author of a book called Bluefishing. And Steve is a high end concierge to the stars. Like, he he gets things done for people. And so his whole business is built on relationships.

One of the things he'll do is if he's got a contact or a client, he'll set reminders in his his calendar every couple of weeks to just touch base and say, hey, what's going on, man? I was just having a whiskey. And I was thinking about that time we did this. And I just really wanted to see how you were doing. Again, just a really simple way of, you know, staying in contact with people who are important to your life, important to your work, and important to you.

People that could be potential lifelines, or people that could create opportunities for you. In Steve's case, he does this to remain on the mind of his clients, to stay on their minds. And he doesn't want to constantly be pitching them on anything, but when he does this, what happens is a lot of time the client will get back in touch with them, and they'll say, You know what, I was just thinking of you because I wanted to go yodeling in The Alps or something like that. Those are things that his clients would have him do or they'll say, know, I wanted to try to get some front seat tickets to the race in Monaco. And it's just a really good way for Steve to stay on top of his his clients' minds, and it leads to a lot of lines of business for him.

You know, another thing you could do is when you are in your Facebook feed is to not just pay attention to the people who are at the top of your feed, because those are the people that you you come in contact to with the most, but scroll to the bottom of your Facebook feed. Those are going to be the people you haven't interacted with in a while. And a lot of times, it'll be old friends, it'll be people that you might have known a few years ago, it might be somebody that you haven't talked to in a few months. And you can go and you can check up on their status. And then you can send them a direct message and say, hey, what's going on?

Just wanted to check up with you on how you're doing. No need to answer back right now. Again, it's important to say that. But you know, sometime, let's let's hop on a call. The point is this, one of the hardest things for us to do as we get older is to maintain those types of relationships to have an extended network that is going to benefit us, not only professionally, but also personally.

Whenever we're going through hell, whenever we're we're going through rough periods in our rough period in our lives, it's really important that we have other people that we can reach out to. And if you're not building that up before you need it, then you can find yourself in that position where you feel like you're stranded out in the middle of nowhere with no one to help you out. And these are just some simple ways that you can do it without imposing yourself on other people, without just reaching out to people whenever you need something, and doing it in a way that could potentially add value to other people's lives. And that's all I've got for this week's Warrior Notes. If you haven't listened to this podcast before, I wanna thank you for listening.

This is the Warrior Soul podcast. I didn't say that at the beginning. My name is Chris Albert, and and the whole point of this podcast is really to deliver tools, tactics, and strategies to help US military veterans to live their best lives. That's because over the past decade and a half, we've faced a lot as a community. High suicide rates, high rates of chronic disease, high rates of veteran homelessness.

And the whole point here is to deliver a tool, a tactic or a strategy that you can apply to your life immediately after the show. If you're not a veteran, of course, these episodes are still for you. The only thing we ask in return is that you let other people know about the show. You let them know about episodes that can help them out, and that you go over to iTunes and you write us a written rank and review. Really helps us to promote the show, really helps to spread word about what we do here.

And I think this stuff is so important to everybody out there in improving their lives and making sure you're living happy happy, healthier, and more productive lives. Beyond that, I just wanna say that this podcast would not be possible without the good people at F Bomb Nutrition. They make awesome, delicious packets of macadamia nut butters. They mix them up with chocolate, with sea salt, pecan butter, and with coconut butter. They've got a new product that I'm really excited about.

They're Parmesan Cheese Crisps, and they have new flavors to them. There's a chili lime, think. There is a buffalo flavor, and there's plain old Cheese Crisps. I they they sent them over to me yesterday. Really delicious, really good snack.

For those of you who are still out there in the military, you can take these things out to the field with you. Get yourself some protein, get yourself some good fats, really awesome stuff. If you want to get 20% off of your first order from F Bomb Nutrition, you can head over to www.dropanfbomb.com and use the code Warrior Soul at checkout. You'll get 20% off of that first order. And that's that guys.

Next week, we will be publishing an awesome interview with Mr. Randall Grizzle. Randall is an expert salesman. He knows how to close people. He's helped build businesses like Russell Brunson's and a few other really notable entrepreneurs businesses by running the sales departments.

And so he's gonna come on, he's gonna talk about one of the most important skills you could ever learn, how to sell. So we'll be back at you on Monday. Really looking forward to it, and I will talk to y'all next week.